PROZAC

Love, loathe, repeat.
2009-09-11 14:04:44 (UTC)

Sometimes I just go for it.

So it's been a few days since I last posted, I guess i've
been keeping away from the pc, but at the same time i've
been talking to you more, so maybe it's the whole being
with you.

We had quite an emotional talk the other day, it seems
that we just can't talk for weeks, then we have one of
these talks and suddenly we're okay again, you've been
smiling more around me. The funny thing is for some reason
because you're smiling around me, i'm convinced that i'm
still able to win you back. I'm so pathetic.

This morning before I went to bed and when I woke up, I
was thinking about you seeing other people, I really don't
know what i'll do when you start seeing someone. I'd like
to think that this new atmosphere between us is me getting
over you, I guess it's more the thought that I might
actually win you back which is keeping me from cutting.

So this week i've been going around tattoo places here in
Lincoln with Ed and JP. There's only 3 that I think stand
out, I kinda know the order which they stand in but i'm
really not sure where to go. This'll be my first tattoo
which has taken me a good few months to decide what and
where I want. There's this beautiful black and white
design by Jesse Lee Vaughn which i'll be doing something
with, it's an ankh with wings which i'll be toying with.
I'll be getting it done on the back of my neck which
should be good.

I was talking to my mother about it yesterday and she was
saying she'll probably come with me and check out some of
the stuff there, 'cause she wants another one. I then let
slip that I wanted to get my knuckles done, nothing
stupid, something like 'truelove' over them, nothing that
screams prison. I then went on telling her how if this
tattoo is nice, i'll be thinking about getting my throat
done and she then went into the whole, you'll never be
employed again if you get your hands or neck done and that
only people that have been to prison get their hands and
neck done.

I don't really know what to think on this matter, i've
seen people with tattoos on their necks and hands that
look incredible, I understand the whole, you'll be jobless
but yeah, something to think about I guess.

Ocean carry me away.




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