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2009-09-05 17:56:33 (UTC)

Blood and tears, they were here first.

So We didn't talk on Friday, you came online but yeah,
turns out you were getting ready to go out anyway, kinda
what I thought. I just wasn't expecting another drunken
camping trip for the weekend. I don't know why but when I
don't talk to you, shortly after one of us leaves, I feel
compelled to get in touch with you and apologize. I text
you on the bus to work saying sorry that we didn't get to
talk and asking you what you were doing, which is where I
found out you were going camping.

I have to admit, I felt shit knowing that you'd be away
from me this weekend, although I guess if you want to be
pedantic you're always away from me. At the same time the
thought 'everything happens for a reason' came across me,
a line which you said to me so many times. Maybe we
weren't meant to talk on msn and the fact that I feel this
way and have to get in touch with you kinda backs that up.
What if I didn't text you? I'd be over thinking, over
analyzing you and probably cutting myself right now.

This morning when I got home, well, I stopped out for an
hour after work, normally do on a sat morning (the buses
don't run till 7am and I finish at 6am), me and JP bought
a crate of Bulmers pear cider for £4, the box had been
damaged so we got it reduced, not too bad for 8 bottles. I
skinned up and got a little relaxed, then skinned up
another for the walk home. We missed the first bus 'cause
of that haha, so I didn't get back home till gone 8. On
the walk home I had my second L which really fucked me up,
I watched Friday night with Johnathan Ross once I got in
over on BBCiPlayer.

I guess it was just kinda spontaneous or maybe because I
was stoned, but after seeing that clip of Mega Shark vs
Giant Octopus I was laughing so hard, so I went over to
Amazon and bought it, haha. I'm pretty sure it's going to
be shit though, haha. I also ordered Imogen Heaps new
album, I didn't realize it was out yet, and something else
which i'm trying to remember, ah yes; Final Fantasy
Dissidia for the PsP.

I just looked online and it was released on the 25th. I
had been following this game for like, 6 months? Then
kinda just, forgot about it, or just stopped following it,
it's something I do with most things. Read everything
about it until it's like 4 months before beta and I know
pretty much everything about it, then it's like this huge
period where all I want to do is play it but it's like,
not out yet and there's no new information on it. Which is
why I kinda stopped reading into it, that and because I
got closer to you. The fact that all the events of
Thursday, starting with you forgetting me, to us not
talking and me texting you on the bus, right to me getting
home and emailing you telling you that I missed you. They
all lead up to me buying something I had been waiting over
6 months for. Maybe everything really does happen for a

You only meant well? Well, of course you did. This is all
for the best? Ah of course it is. That it's just what we
need? You decided this.