Jaeu

One big beautiful daily accident.
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2009-08-21 15:01:32 (UTC)

No surprises.

It's friday, I fell asleep on the couch waiting for you to
get home at around, well, i'd love to say around 2-4am,
but all I know is I woke up at 6am. Turns out you didn't
get home till 9 so i'm kinda glad at 6 I went to my room
and went to bed, but at the same time i'm really pissed
off for doing that as I woke up at 11.

You told me that you missed me, and sent me a picture
yesterday, before I went out for the night. It was a
picture of you on the beach, in the water just walking.
You're so gorgeous it hurts to see what i've lost, you are
my perfection.

I guess going out last night helped a bit, I saw some old
friends I havn't seen in like a year and such. Got to see
a mates band play too, The Little Imps? Or maybe it was
Little Imp, they were really good anyway. I miss playing
guitar.

I havn't been able to stop thinking about you since 11, I
really don't think you have any idea or even any
understanding on what i'm going through, I emailed you
last night telling you how much I wish we were laying
together so I could be holding your hand kissing you, i'm
guessing that hurt to read so you've just kinda ignored
it. If it hurt to read then what does that mean? That you
still have feelings for me and that you're trying to get
over me but it hurts to remember how we were? Or maybe it
hurts because you have no feelings for me, and it hurts
because you feel guilty for leading me on?

I feel like cutting, I havn't cut in like 2 days, I guess
it's more like 3 now? I can't even remember. I don't want
to live without you, I don't want anything else, I don't
want anyone else. I gues it's going to be another hard
emotional day.

I love you, I have the scars to prove it.

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