Jaeu

One big beautiful daily accident.
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2009-08-18 13:11:32 (UTC)

Half a life.

You're camping right now, you text me this morning to tell
me that you have signal, I was in bed crying myself to
sleep. You've been gone a day and already i'm caving. I
guess it's the anxious thoughts and paranoia that are
making me cave. I wonder if he fell asleep with you, if
you've even thought about me since you left. Since I left.
I'm running out of room on my wrist.

Am I so emotionally fucked that I can't even go a day
without you? I've gone days without you before, why is
this so hard? Probably the fact that I can't see you, or
be near you so i've no way of knowing what you're doing.
The painful realization that all has gone wrong. Last time
you went camping you couldn't remember anything and you
were covered in pretty deep cuts from swimming in some
rocky lake. I can't protect you. I can't even fucking hold
you.

I'm not going to text you again this week, I guess you
wanted a break from me, well here it is, lets see how
fucked up I am on Thursday. Maybe this is what I need to
kick start the moving on, or maybe this'll just make you
hate me even more than you clearly already do.

I can't seem to believe that you ever cared for me.

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