Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2009-07-13 21:41:32 (UTC)

Our Children and Sex

Last night Snookums and I had our first real heart-to-
heart conversation since he's been home. I'm not sure
exactly what started it (we were just laying in bed,
watching TV), but it was deep... Our children and sex.
It's safe to say Snookums and I could not come to a
consensus. He feels that abstinence-only education is
ideal. They SHOULD NOT have sex. They won't be ALLOWED to
have sex. It's not an option, not an issue, it won't be
tolerated or discussed... I think that idea is ludicrous
and highly flawed. It's not rational, practical and I
think it's down right dangerous.

Both Jason and I were raised in abstinence-only
situations. For him it worked out well: He lived a very
sheltered life, he was awkward around girls and didn't get
out of the house much. He didn't have a real girlfriend or
any sexual encounters until he was 22 years old (don't
make fun of him, there's nothing wrong with that). He may
be an abstinence-only success story, but I was NOT.

As I've mentioned before, my mother was VERY religious and
sex was never brought up or discussed in our household. I
wasn't allowed to learn about it at school and what little
was brought up in our church made is seem like your
genitals would fall off instantaneously and you'd be put
on an Amtrak train straight to hell. I didn't know
anything and not knowing anything set me up for all the
hurt and confusion that I endured for years. Had I even
known HOW I got pregnant in the first place, it probably
wouldn't have happened (not that I regret having Annie,
but we can all agree a 16 year old girl doesn't need to be
having a baby). Even the misinformation I got from my
peers wasn't enough to help me. I needed guidance and
education. It's a serious thing to me. My children WILL be
informed.

I know it's not a prevalent issue for us just yet. Annie
is 10 and I'd like to hope we've got a few more years
before it becomes a real concern, but the thing is we have
to start now. I think she's got a good base of knowledge
(appropriate for a 10 year old), but it can't stop there.
I want them to know their options. I want them to know
we're there for them when they need to discuss it. I don't
want them to be fearful of their dad's reaction. Under no
circumstances do I WANT my teenagers having sex (does any
parent want that?), but if they decide that they are going
to become sexually active, I want all bases covered
(forgive the pun). At least we have some time to work this
out. I don't want our childrens' teen years to put a
strain on our relationship :( Ciao...




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