Nic.

The View Of The Oddball
2009-07-01 15:33:12 (UTC)

4 Months.

It has been almost 4 months since the death of my best
friend.And oh lord It still hurts to this day.Everyone
tells me you dont have to let go of him,But truth is I
do.If I dont at this point I never will.And Ill never be
able to open up to anyone new.I loved him.I was in love
with him,Losing him. Just hurt me so badly.And constantly
all I think about is his death and everyone says,"Hes gone
but he knows you love him." But he doesnt.I never got he
chance to say I love you just one more time.Or goodbye.My
friend told me to pray and pray but I just cant he wont
hear me Trust me ive tried.I dont know If he can forgive
me for being so harsh on him.And I understand if he
doesnt.But I feel like hes still here.Sitting right next
to me,Just whispering that he still loves me.Thats all I
want to hear.I want him to come back just for one day so I
can say goodbye and that I loved/Love him very much But
its time for me to move on.Until Im able to tell him that
I can never move on,But something is holding me back from
talking to him,Ive been trying but for some reason I cant
let go,My friend lost both his parents and hes already let
go.Then why cant I let go of a guy I loved.Its not losing
a parent..Its just a friend...A friend I was completly in
love with...Ughhhh!




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