Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2009-06-06 08:13:02 (UTC)

Business. Not Pleasure

I wrote that big, long, meandering entry this morning. I
don't feel much like writing at the moment and I don't
have anything more to share. I haven't felt right all day.
Nothing is wrong. It's just that I'm feeling... off. I'm
going to bed as soon as I'm done here and when I wake up
in the morning I fully expect to feel like myself again.

I was hoping they wouldn't want to use my on-call tonight,
because I actually DIDN'T want to go into work today. Of
course because I didn't want to work, I had to. It never
fails. I sucked it up, though. I stopped in Starbucks, got
myself a latte and accepted that I needed to put
my "retail face" on and act my part.

Pretending to be happy can wear off on you in one of two
ways. It can either make you actually feel happy or it can
wear you down. Tonight went very smoothly and I ended up
leaving happier than I arrived. Nights like that are good,
but I'm still tired.

Snookums and I have been going back and forth all day (via
text message) about his money situation. He's spent his
$400 allowance plus another $180 I gave him because he
spent $100 of his money on something very special (I
forgot to mention, he got his first tattoo. Annette,
Kallista, Keenan in script across his left bicep). It's
almost like he's trying to relive his bachelor days. Back
when there was nothing waiting for him back home. No
bills, no family, nothing to take money out of his pocket
but his wants and needs. Well, now he's got a family and
responsibilities. I know he's going out drinking with
his "boys" and I know he's been to at least two strip
clubs (some think this should bother me, but it doesn't in
the least. If he wants to blow his spending money in
someone trick's g-string, he can knock himself out). But
enough is enough. It's time for him to carry his happy ass
back to the ship and keep it there until it docks in
Everett. He may be in Hawaii, but it's on business. Not
pleasure. I put another $80 in his account to cover his
overdraft and $50 to tide him over. That's all he's
getting and I won't hear any reasons why he needs more. I
told him if he wants more he better ask his daddy. I'm
sure Dan would love to hear why Jason needs money from
him :) It may sound like I've got him by the nuts (and I
kind of do), but if I didn't we'd be up shit creek without
a boat, much less a paddle. I'd like there to be something
left when he gets home. A family vacation would be nice. I
sure could use one and I think I deserve it. Ciao.




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