Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2009-04-22 06:52:11 (UTC)

Positive Reinforcement

Sometimes I have a day so wonderful that it far exceeds
and totally rectifies any and every bad experience I've
ever had in my life. As schmaltzy as that sounds it's
true. I can feel the healing :)

Being a mother is part of my identity and I'm very proud
of it. This afternoon with the kids was great. Because
I've been working so much lately, I've kind of forgotten
how great it is to be home with them in the evening. I
chaperoned what seemed like the entire block, as they
played in my side yard. I made the kids a nice dinner
(parmesan crusted chicken breast, green beans and
vegetable rice), had a great conversation with Annie
(she's so smart for her age) and put my tired progeny to
bed at 8pm. As taxing as it can be sometimes, I really do
love being a mom.

After my deplorable behavior last cruise, I'm always
amazed at Snookums' ability to trust me so readily when
I'm not really sure I could do the same had the tables
been turned. I found out today that one of the wives I had
over for dinner back in November divorced her husband
(who's also on the Stennis) and it made me a little sad.
Snookums and I never got to that point. He made it very
clear that he had no intentions of divorcing me, but for a
couple days I knew what it felt like to be at odds in our
relationship. When I told Snookums about this other couple
he sent me this back in reply:

"Another marriage in my dept is on the quits. It takes a
lot to make a military marriage work. It takes a lot of
appreciation on the husband's part for what his wife does
at home and a lot of commitment and pride on the wife's
part for what her better half is doing out here. If you
don't appreciate what one another does than it won't last.
Unlike us we will last forever because we appreciate each
other and respect what one another is doing for our
family. Plus we keep the marriage fresh at all times with
little shows of affection and we discuss everything that
goes on. But there is one thing that we have that not
everybody has and that is TRUST in each other. I love you
so much. This cruise has made me love you more and has
strengthened my commitment to you and my family. Our
marriage was strong and now it is just that much stronger.
I can't imagine life without you too Baby. No I don't
forget that you love me Baby and some days that is what
pushes me to carry on knowing that you are in my life
forever. "

I feel like Snookums is using some kind of psychology on
me. Like he knows if he expresses how much he trusts me
and loves me it will keep me from straying again. Positive
reinforcement, I believe it's called. I don't need him to
do that (I've learned my lesson) and I'm not entirely
convinced he realizes he's doing it, but I can't blame
him. He's wiser than I give him credit for and obviously
intelligent in his own introverted way. Not to mention the
quality of his emails has improved ten-fold over the
course of our marriage. Overall the email was very sweet.
I love that man so much. At times, he's all I can think
about and I absolutely can't wait for him to come home.
Less than 3 months to go... Ciao.





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