Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2009-04-21 07:28:52 (UTC)

Well Beyond Exhausted

The only thing between me and my bed is this diary entry.
I'm ready to go to bed. Hopefully that means I'll go to
sleep right away. There's nothing worse than laying in bed
and trying to fall asleep and not being able to. It's
probably the biggest reason why I don't get to sleep at a
decent hour. I won't even go in my bedroom until I'm well
beyond exhausted. Like I said before, it's something I've
got to work on.

Gen and I did coffee this morning. I wish we could have
had more time to talk, but we both had things to do. It's
not that I had anything pressing to talk about. I just
really enjoy our two hour coffee chats :) I don't even
want to think about the day one of us isn't here to do
that anymore, but seeing as how both of our husbands are
in the Navy, it's an unfortunate reality.

I had a great workout today. I know I must sound like a
broken record. Everyday I have a good workout. But, it's
true. I love, love, love going to the gym. I always have.
Since I won't be having any more babies there's no reason
for me not to get back into shape and it definitely helps
regulate my moods. I try to drag Snookums along with me
but he hates working out and tries to find every excuse in
the book to keep me from going, but I'm sure if he just
stuck with it long enough - long enough to make it a habit
(do anything for 21 days and it becomes a habit) he'd
start loving it, too. Then he wouldn't have to work his
ass off every three months just to pass PRT (physical
readiness training). He says he's been running a few times
a week, so that's a start.

I've been kind of wanting to take a Zumba class (it's a
Latin dance-inspired aerobic routine), but the past few
weeks they've been holding it on the basketball court
instead of in the aerobics room. Why I don't know, but I'm
leery of joining in when the other half of the basketball
court if full of men. It was like females on parade. Half
of the men were too distracted by the women rocking their
hips in the Zumba class to even pay attention to the
basketball game going on. Monday's, Wednesday's and
Friday's are the shirts vs. skins games and the only time
I have to avoid young men hitting on me. It doesn't happen
often, but I'd rather it didn't happen at all. The rest of
the time the place is full of young mothers like me and
older people. It's okay. I love my Arc Trainer and since
I'm a creature of habit, I probably wouldn't stick with
Zumba anyway. I'd just keep going back to my favorite
machine.

I got Snookums' package today :) It was full of treasures.
Normally I don't like the things Snookums buys me (he
knows that), but he's sent me some really nice things this
deployment. I got two strands of Mala beads. One jade and
one made of Tiger's Eye. A marble Buddha and some jewelry.
One of the necklace and earring sets is very ostentatious
and not really my style. It's covered in purple and pink
rhinestones and little purple roses. Imelda Marcos might
like it, but he bought it for me and I love him, so it's
special even if I'll probably only wear it a few times. I
took a picture wearing it and sent it to him. It's not
ugly, just a bit too sparkly for my taste.

Annie's Girl Scout troop had a little art walk tonight. It
was so cute. They'd assembled all the different art
projects they've done this year and had them laid out on
tables formed into a circle. All of us parents walked
around the circle and looked at their projects. Oil pastel
drawings, mosaics made of little pieces of construction
paper, pictures fashioned out of bits of string and yarn,
paintings and crayon drawings. They were very proud of
their work. Being there in that moment took me back to my
childhood and some of the parallel, but vastly different
experiences Annie and I have had. I hope someday she
realizes how much I love her and how hard I'm trying to
give her a good life.

I can vividly remember being 12 years old, sitting on the
couch waiting for my parents to come home so they could
take me to Girl Scouts. They never showed up and I fell
asleep on the couch. They came in around 9pm and sent me
up to my room, never even apologizing for making me miss
my meeting. I'm not trying to live vicariously through my
children, but I'm trying my best not to repeat the hurt I
experienced simply because that's all I knew. I hope
they're happy.

I need to go to bed. It's after midnight, I don't see any
reason why I shouldn't just drift off easily. Ciao.




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