Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2009-04-18 07:48:48 (UTC)

Something So Exhilarating

I'm not sure what came over me this morning, but I felt
great. I had an energy I haven't had in a long time and
I'm so pleased to be able to say that I'm FINALLY starting
to feel like myself. Like the me I used to be. Not the
tired, rundown, worn out version of me I have been. But
the healthy, in-shape, happy person I knew I was capable
of being. Yeah, I'm still a little down at times, but
that's a small thing compared to hopeless depression I
thought was going to be a permanent fixture in my life.
Life could only be better if Snookums were here. Soon
enough, that wish will come true. Less than 3 months to
go :)

I worked myself really hard at the gym today. Usually I'm
not 100% on board when I get there. I want to work out,
but I'm not always gung ho about it. Today I was. 60
minutes on the Arc Trainer and a 10 minute mile. There's
something so exhilarating about running at your threshold.
Right at that point where every muscle in your body is
screaming for you to stop, but you don't and each day you
get a little stronger, a little faster. It's like nothing
else exists. I love it. I don't run on the track every
day. Some days it's too crowded, but a couple of times a
week I try to. I have to keep things varied so I don't hit
a plateau. This morning I was 173, which I think is great
considering where I was when I started, but when I look in
the mirror I still see a chubby girl. Body Dysmorphia
sucks. Or maybe I really do look that big? I don't know.
Over-all I feel great and I know I look better. Ultimately
I just want to feel perfectly comfortable in my own skin.
As much as I love myself (and I don't think anyone doubts
that), there's still plenty of room for improvement and
looking nice for Snookums when he gets home isn't going to
suck too bad, either ;)

Tomorrow morning I have to put out our Spring cleaning
garbage. Twice a year they come and pick up big stuff at
the curb. Small appliances and other household items. I
don't really have that much, just a few bags of yard waste
(leaves and grass clippings) I haven't gotten around to
taking to the dumpsters and my broken vacuum cleaner. I
try to minimize the amount of garbage we make as a family.
We recycle a lot. In fact, if I could switch the pick-up
schedule and get bi-weekly garbage pick-up and weekly
recycling pick-up I'd do that. I have to get that stuff
out before 11:45am. Which also happens to be the time
Annie needs to be dropped off at St. Luke's for Thinking
Day (a Girl Scout function). I'm debating whether or not I
want to come home, do laundry and cut the grass (just to
maintain it, it's not bad), then pick Annie up at 4pm or
if I want to go to the gym, come home and cut the grass
and then pick Annie up, then do laundry in the evening. Oh
who cares? I'll figure it out as the day goes along. Ciao!




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