Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2009-04-17 08:15:20 (UTC)

Officially Sterile

I'm proud of myself. I went to bed early (for me) last
night, got up early, felt pretty good and had a great
workout. Good days at the gym usually equal a good rest of
the day. Today was no different. There was just one hitch
in my day and it wasn't even that big of a deal.

I forgot to check my phone after I left the gym, so I
didn't get Tiffany's message. The day was slow, so she
wanted me to come in at 6pm instead of 4pm to save on
hours. Since I didn't check my phone, I didn't get that
message, so I came in at 4pm. Which gave me 2 whole hours
alone in the mall with no children :) I can't remember the
last time that happened. Probably not in years. It was
great! I stopped by the Bare Essentuals counter at Macy's
and got some new make-up (a tub of Summer Bisque and the
Free to BE Naturally Elegant face and eye kit, which came
with this cute little pewter make-up clutch) and a new
eyeliner brush. The one I have now is too fat to create
crisp lines. $75 on make-up. I felt a little guilty about
it (Snookums wants to go on vacation when he gets home and
I promised I'd put a little money aside for it), but I
haven't bought ANY make-up since November. Well, I spent
$12 on a new eyeshadow 2 months ago, but you know what I
mean. No major purchases. I got a couple pairs of earrings
and a couple little t-shirts for Annie at Hollister, but
that was it. Oh, and a Caramel Macchiato. I was a woman of
leisure for just a couple of hours and it was fabulous :)

A 6-10 shift feels like a blink of an eye compared to the
3-10 shifts I've been working the past couple of weeks. By
the time I got there all the tables had been straightened,
the walls where neat. For the first time since I started
closing, I didn't have to straighten a panty table. It
never got busy enough for them to get messed up again. We
still made our segments though. Mostly on bras and beauty
and we got off early. Tomorrow I have a 5-9 shift. I love
working, don't get me wrong. I wouldn't still be there if
I didn't love it, but sometimes longer shifts can be
tiring. When I'm not in the mood to be nice, putting on a
happy face takes a lot of effort.

I still feel slightly bitchy. I'm amazed at how much this
is affecting me. I'm not nursing as much anymore and I'm
wondering if that's got something to do with it. Keenan's
down to 3 nursing sessions a day. I can tell that he's
less and less interested in it (he's too busy looking
around, playing, trying to crawl) and I'm okay with that.
He's 10 months old and I've nursed him successfully all
this time. If he continues to nurse a few times a day for
awhile, that's fine. It was just the 5 or 6 times a day
that was wearing me down. I'm committed to letting him
breastfeed for as long as HE wants to, not for as long as
I want to keep him a baby. But I'm not even feeling that
way right now. He's free to grow up :) I've cherished his
infancy...

Speaking of which, Snookums sent me an email tonight (as
usual). He had a sperm count done today and it was O. He's
officially sterile. I thought I'd be sad about it, but I'm
not. My baby-making days are behind me. I'm starting to
feel like I'm getting my body back and I love that
feeling.

I'm going to make a valiant effort tonight. I'm going to
try very hard to get my butt to bed like I did last night.
I still need to do a little picking up in the living room,
then it's off to bed. Of all of my Personal Expectations
(a list I've posted around the house to keep myself on
track), being in bed by midnight is proving to be the
hardest commitment to stick to. I'll just have to keep on
trying. Ciao.




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