Interrupted
My Life Thus Far
I'm Odd
I woke up this morning with that doom and gloom kind of
feeling, like something bad was going to happen. I don't
understand why I feel like that so much of the time. I
don't get why I have to work so hard to have a good day,
when there really isn't anything standing in my way.
Nothing tangible, at least. I'm starting to accept that no
matter how hard I try to be "normal" or how centered or
focused I believe myself to be, I'm still a mess. I'm
damaged. I think differently, see the world differently,
see myself differently, do everything differently - than
any else I know. I feel odd. I'm odd. I'm still struggling
with depression, I can feel it. It takes everything in me
to function on a daily basis, but over-all I think I'm
doing okay. Medication isn't an option. I'd rather feel
what I feel than hide it in my subconscious somewhere.
I'll never give up trying.
On the way home from the gym I saw a really bad accident.
It had just happened, the ambulances and police were just
arriving when I got to the intersection. At least six cars
were involved and I couldn't help but feel bad for all the
people involved. From what I could see, all the cars were
totalled, pointed in all different directions, air bags
deployed. I don't know the extent of the injuries, but it
was obvious that people had to have been hurt. I hope
everyone is okay. Seeing that made me think about what
would happen if I were hurt. With Snookums being gone and
no family near by, I can't even imagine what that would be
like. I'm not worried about myself so much as the
children. I have a tendency to speed (a little). I think
I'm going to be more careful from now on. Better safe than
sorry.
I got a call from my babysitter's aunt today. I guess last
night when she was walking home after babysitting, she got
stopped by base police for being out past curfew (10pm).
Now I'm going have to start driving her home after work,
which sucks a little. She just lives one block away. I
don't see why they have to make such a big deal out of it.
When I lived on base and worked at Subway, I walked home
at midnight without any issues. They won't do anything
about the 17 year old that stands on the corner (yes he's
still doing that) and waits for Annie to get off the bus,
but they'll harass someone for walking home from their
job. I don't get it.
I need to go to bed. I'm starting to get a headache. Ciao.
Ad: