Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2009-04-09 07:14:23 (UTC)

I Didn't Meditate

I had one of those days that can only be improved by
crawling in bed, covering my head with the blankets and
never coming out. I've tried being positive, but that
wasn't working. I'm sure it's because I didn't mean it. I
only half-heartedly willed myself into a good day. I
didn't meditate on it.

It started this morning. I checked our bank account (as I
normally do every morning) and noticed that when I paid
the kid's childcare at the gym yesterday they charged my
account 3 times instead of once. How the hell that
happened, I don't know. But it sucks because that was
Jason's spending money in Thailand. I printed out my
statement and took it in to show them. They fixed it, but
it will take a few days for the money to repost to my
account.

Then, I went to US Bank to look into the child support
thing. It turns out it's not an account at US Bank. DSHS
did away with checks and switched to debit cards, but for
some reason I never got one. I don't want it, I think it's
more of an inconvenience to have to find a US Bank ATM
than to go to my own bank and cash a check, but whatever.
I didn't get a choice. So now there's more work for me to
do. I have to call DSHS and find out why I didn't get a
card and deal with them. It was hard enough getting child
support in the first place. I just want to be done with
it. I should have just let Jason adopt Annie like he
wanted to and forget about all this. Annie deserves
something, that's the only reason why I put up with the
state and my stepfather.

Work was okay, until it came time for my lunch break. I
opened my purse so Tiffany could do a bag check and I
noticed that I didn't have my wallet. I'd left it in my
gym bag after going through all that crap with them this
morning. So I had no money for lunch or even a drink.
Which sucked really bad because I hadn't eaten anything
yet. I have loose change in the car, so I figured I could
at least get a water or something. On my way out to the
car I passed a guy sitting on a bench outside of JC
Penney's. He watched me walk by and out the corner of my
eye I saw him get up and follow me. I got to the door and
just as I was about to open it, he jumped in front of me
and said "I see that you're married, but I just wanted to
let you know that you're a very beautiful girl". I said
thank you and figured that was the end of it, but then he
proceeded to comment on how young I look, then he asked me
how old I was, if I was really married, how long I'd been
married. I was starting to get uncomfortable. Then he
said "Well, you're a beautiful girl... Damn!" and walked
away. I don't get it. I'm not a gorgeous woman. Sure I've
got a pretty face, but other than that I'm average. Maybe
slightly below. I lose a little weight and now men won't
leave me alone. At least when I was fat I could walk
through the mall without being hit on. At first it's
flattering, but now it's just annoying. Men are assholes.

I found 50 cents in the car. Annie is terrible about
taking my change. Anyway, that's enough to get a water at
Baskin Robbin's (if you're a mall employee). I figured
that was better than nothing. Usually I get a single scoop
of Raspberry Cheese Louise frozen yogurt and a Diet Pepsi.
The guy I've known for years that works there refers to it
as "my usual" and always has it ready as soon as I get to
the counter. Tonight I told him I couldn't get my usual
because I left my wallet at home and he gave it to me
anyway for nothing. Wasn't that sweet? It was the best
part of my day. I've known him since he was a kid going to
the youth and teen center with Annie, so we go way back.

The irony of forgetting my wallet was that I had a $100
bill in it. Since I didn't get a chance to break it I
couldn't pay Amy, which was embarrassing for me. She
didn't mind, but I did. What a day. No, it wasn't my worst
day ever (by far), but it still wasn't great. I'm making
myself some cauliflower and salmon, then I'm going to bed.
I'm tired, hungry and so done with this day. Ciao.




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