Nic.

The View Of The Oddball
2009-04-04 23:25:45 (UTC)

Im done "/

Well today is saturday.And he couldnt come.He came online
and was like Im sorry I have some bad news.I was so
upset.But its fine.Except I dont know when Im guna be able
to see him.Becuz next weekend Im going away to my families
house.And I doubt He'll call.He NEVER calls anymore.Which
is semi-understandable. We fight every time he calls. But
thats becuz he gets on my nerves! But it always ends with
me crying.I dont know he has some power over me.
But anyway,Lord Im in love with him!
Okay anyway,Tomorrows my birthday! Lol,I went out to
dinner with My family today and it was fun!
But I really wanted to hang with him.I dont know I just
omg I was just so upset when he told me he couldnt.But it
wasnt completly unexpected.I guess I just never expect
much from him anymore.I dont expect him to call or to talk
to me or anything anymore. But I dont see why Im so crazy
about him.But I am.I just guess I learned how he is.But I
love him! Like truly do! And he has NO idea!I wana tell
him,But then again Im pretty sure he doesnt feel the way I
feel.I dont know this feeling is driving me insane! How
can I love someone that doesnt seem like he gives a fukk.
But yesterday he called me "his love".I guess he ment it
as a friend but still it felt so great to hear him say.I
just wish I could be his girlfriend. Why wont he go out
with me.I dont get it.Hes liked me for awhile now!
On a different note. I keep thinking about my friend,The
one that died.Tomorrow is going to be the one month that
he died and it sucks that its my birthday.I just miss
him.I have these nights where I lay in bed and cry Becuz I
never truly got to say goodbye.That hurts me.The last
words I said to him was "Okay watever" That kills me all
the time.I havent love anyone since him. But I finally
found someone I truly love.And he wont get with me.Life is
complicated.Damn Teenage years. They go by so quickly.Wow
I sound like an adult and I still have alot of teenage
years left!.


Okay I realize this is getting alittle to long..Haha so Im
guna go..Check In tomorrow..Peace

--Me :)




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