Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2009-03-22 19:02:56 (UTC)

Hell Hath No Fury...

18 hours later and after a rough night with very little
sleep I'm still at a loss. I don't know what I should do.
I don't know what I should say. I don't know anything
other than I've got that sinking, no-good, feel like crap
queasiness in the pit of my stomach because I'm scared.
I'm scared of what did happen, what could happen or what
might have happened that I just don't know about. I want
to get as far away from here as possible. I want to scream
and cry. I want to kill him. I want his parents to feel
what I feel right now.

Yesterday Annie was playing outside with a few of her
friends. I could see them out my living room window.
Everything was fine. A few minutes later I looked outside
again and I noticed a teenaged boy out there with them.
I've never seen him before and it made me a little
uncomfortable, because in my mind a teenaged boy has no
business hanging around with 8 and 9 year old kids.
Especially not one's he's not related to (or babysitting)
and definitely not little girls. I looked outside again
and the teenager was gone and so was one of Annie's
friends. At this point I start having one of those moral
debates with myself. Should I go find them? Should I make
Annie come in? Do I tell her to stay away from him? What
is the right choice? I just knew I didn't feel easy about
the situation.

Kiki needed help getting her pants off to go potty, so I
was pulled away from the window for a couple minutes. When
I looked out again, the teenager was back and now he had
Annie sitting between his legs (he was straddling the
bench). He had his arms around her and was stroking her
back while she looked at a magazine or something. All I
could see was red. RAGE. No teenager has any business with
a 9 year old girl in his lap. Not like that. There was
nothing innocent about it. Had Annie been 5 years older
they would have looked like a couple. I dropped Keenan in
the swing and ran for the front door. Just as I got to it,
the door bell rang. I threw it open and it was my
neighbor. She said "look out your window, that boy's got
Annie!" Despite the fact that I was wearing pajamas and
had no shoes on, I ran through the garden, down the side
yard and out to the covered sitting area where they were
at. When he saw us coming (the neighbor followed me) he
immediately jumped up (which implies that he knew he was
doing something wrong).

I don't really remember everything I said. All I recall
is "I don't know what the hell you think you're doing, but
if you ever touch my daughter again I'll tear your mother-
fucking ass up! You'd better get out of here! Start
walking! No better yet, start running! I'm not playing
with you! If I ever see you so much as walk down my
street, I will kill you!" That's all I remember, but I'm
sure there was more. I have a tendency of losing it
sometimes. I'll admit it. Maybe it comes from years of
being helpless. I don't know. All I know is I was scared
and angry and even though it may have been a relatively
small thing on the scale of what could possibly have
happened, I know from experience how it starts and where
it can go. If I only accomplish one thing in my life, it
will be to see to it that my children aren't hurt the way
I was. I'll do whatever it takes including beat the shit
out of a teenager. So what if he's bigger and taller than
me. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, right?

I do have a rational side. The rational side of me talked
to Annie about it. I listened to what she had to say.
Which scared me more. Because after the 1 million talks
I've had with her about this very type of incident, she
still didn't see anything wrong with it because she "knows
him". Ha! Like knowing him (which she doesn't, even if she
thinks she does) makes no difference what-so-ever. I knew
my stepfather and grandfather pretty damn well. I did get
his name. That's all Annie knew. I called Amy because
she's a teenager and lives around here, so I figured she
might know him. She knew of him and that he lives on Haven
Ct. But she doesn't know which unit. I didn't tell her why
I was asking, only that I needed to talk to his parents.
At this point I don't know what to do next. I want to go
talk to the parents of the little girl he took down to the
beach before he tried to get Annie down there, but I'm not
sure what to say or if that would do more harm than good.
I don't want to start a witch hunt. This is where I get
lost. I don't know what to do...

Apparently my neighbor watched all of this unfold from her
living room window. Her exact words were "I'm nosy, I
watch everybody". Nice to know. She wants to come with me
to talk to the boy's parents, but since I don't know what
house he lives in (and I don't want to knock on every door
on Haven Ct. I'm not sure if I'll be able to do that). But
I can talk to the other girls' parents and I think that
would be within my moral obligation. Since she saw what
happened with the other girl and I didn't, I guess I'll
bring the neighbor lady with me.

The moral of this story is, WATCH YOUR CHILDREN.
Irrational fear and paranoia aren't necessary, but
diligence most certainly is. Even with Annie sequestered
to our street and equipped with a cell-phone for
emergencies, she was still victimized and probably won't
realize it until she's much older (the ignorance of
childhood will protect her from understanding for now).
Child predators come in all shapes and forms and you don't
have to go looking for them, they'll come to you. I hate
this world sometimes... Ciao.




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