Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2009-02-23 05:18:33 (UTC)

Karmatic Fall-Out

Sometimes the level of exhaustion gets to a point where
all I can do is sit quietly and let it wash over me. I'm
so tired every muscle, joint and bone in my body is
aching. I hurt so bad. I wish I knew why...

One of the other Stennis wives (Kisha) invited us to her
son's 5th birthday party today at Bremerton Lanes. I
haven't been there since the giant boulder in the parking
lot caved in the Impala's door, but it was good to see the
offending rock is gone :) So, the party was nice. There
were about 10 kids there. Not too big, but since it's the
weekend, of course the rest of the bowling alley was
crowded, loud and a little on the warm side. The kids had
fun, but I was glad when it was finally over and I could
come home.

One of the mom's there was very entertaining. I don't know
if it's because I'm a more relaxed type of mother that I
found her behavior funny or if it's because I can see the
backlash from her son coming a mile away. She had issue
with everything served. The pizza was too greasy (it was,
but kids don't care). The fruit punch had red dye number
whatever in it AND high fructose corn syrup, her son had
never had soda before and he wasn't starting today, the
milk in the ice cream probably had growth hormone in it
and the cake was full of sugar (duh), but she did let him
have a 1 inch by 1 inch square of it. Okay. Why'd you let
him come? Talk about taking the joy out of a birthday
party. I'd hate to see what was served at her son's
birthday. Then there was Kiki sitting next to her son
eating a piece of cake the size of a Volkswagen Beetle
while working on her 3rd scoop of ice cream, washing it
down with fruit punch and when that ran out, Pepsi :) Of
course that was after she ate 3 slices of greasy pizza.
I'm not saying there's anything wrong with watching what
your kids eat. Annie and Kiki don't get soda on a regular
basis (maybe twice a month when we go out), there are no
cookies or sweets in the house (not after they decimated
the Girl Scout cookie stash), but I don't see anything
wrong with letting them indulge once in awhile. Geez. But,
she's got her right to parent as she sees fit. I just
thought it was funny.

Last night while I was reading I came across a passage in
Chapter 7: Focusing the Mind, that read:

"When you are confronted with trouble, do whatever you can
to overcome it, but if it is insurmountable, then reflect
on the fact that this trouble is due to your own actions
in this, or a previous life. Understanding that suffering
comes from karma will bring some peace as it reveals that
life is not unjust. Otherwise sorrow and pain might seem
to be meaningless."

For the most part I agree with this. I believe that karma
exists and that the hardships I endure are usually brought
on by my own ill actions. I just can't grasp the part
about it being because of actions in a past life. So, the
reason I was abused as a child was because I was a bad
person in a former life? That's pretty fucked up if you
ask me. Because as a child, what could I have possibly
done that would illicit such strong karmatic fall-out? I
don't believe in reincarnation - at least not yet. So,
therefore, I don't agree with the part about getting what
was coming to me from a past life. If that's the case
whoever I am after this me is going to have hell to pay
for that affair (and the negative actions intertwined
within that mess). I've still got a lot to work on,
apparently. I'm trying, but parts of the puzzle are still
missing.

I'd better get the kitchen done and the living room
cleaned up. I want to stay on my schedule. It's only
9:17pm, but I would normally have the dishes and stuff
done by now. Ciao and goodnight :)




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