Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2009-02-20 07:52:34 (UTC)

Indigo Children

Aside from feeling pretty good about my life overall,
there is one thing that continues to plague me...I'm
totally at a loss when it comes to Annie. I hate to admit
it, but I'm having a hard time understanding her or even
getting through to her. I know she's only 9, but somehow
the child seems smarter than me. Like she knows things I
don't. Sometimes she down-right creeps me out. Lately
she's become much more introverted. She rarely speaks
unless she's got something to communicate, which isn't
like her. She used to be a chatterbox that couldn't be
quiet for 5 minutes to save her life. Now she's almost
broody, like a teenager. She's spending more time reading
or closed up in her room writing stories. She wants
nothing to do with Kiki and the neighborhood children
follow her around like she's some kind of messiah. Today,
one little girl came to the door six times in less than
two hours asking if Annie was home from school yet (they
go to different schools). They moved her into a more
advanced class at school, so she hasn't been having any
academic problems, but there are still the occasional
social problems. Like last month when she told one of her
classmates that she was going to help him "become less
stupid". The child worries me. Two incidents occurred
tonight that left me scratching my head, wondering "what
do I do with this child"?

Annie came inside around 5:30pm. She'd been out playing
with her friends. I was in the process of making dinner
and I asked her if she'd please help me get the living
room picked up. It wasn't anything daunting. Just Keenan's
toys and a few of Kiki's books. She didn't say anything,
she just walked out of the kitchen. 10 minutes later I
came out of the kitchen and she hadn't touched a thing.
She was sitting on the couch reading a book. I asked her
why she hadn't done it and her answer was quite
frank. "I'm a child. I didn't make the mess, so I don't
feel it's my responsibility to clean it up". I kind of
went a little postal on her, giving her the whole "you're
a part of this family and you need to help" schpeal, but
it was obvious by the look on her face that she really
didn't give a damn. Her whole life she's had this sense of
entitlement about her. Like the world was her oyster and
she was somehow above all the mundane tasks most humans
must drudge through.

The next incident was baffling. I was sitting at the
computer, Annie was on the couch reading and Kiki was
watching cartoons. Between the computer and the TV there
was a good bit of noise in the room. Annie turned to me
out of the blue and said "mama, your phone is ringing". I
knew my phone hadn't rang, because I put it on vibrate
earlier today (it was ringing too much), but I got up
anyway and went to my purse to check...Sure enough, I'd
missed a call not even a full minute had passed and it was
still on vibrate. How do you explain that? I wonder if
that's a fool-proof talent or if it comes and goes? And if
she can hear my silent phone ring in another room, inside
a purse, over a TV and a computer, how come she can't hear
me when I call her for dinner?

So, I was surfing the net looking up all the different
diagnosis child psychologists have given her over the
years. ADHD, Oppositional Defiant Disorder, OCD. Somehow
hoping I'd find something that would tell me what I need
to do to get her to clean something around here. As is
common when surfing the net, one link leads to another and
I somehow stumbled across a website for Indigo children.
I'm not a believer in New Age concepts at all, but years
ago a creepy hippy lady told me that she thought Annie was
one of these Indigo children. I wasn't receptive to the
idea even after reading the 10 defining characteristics,
but now the idea doesn't seem as far-fetched. She fits all
10 characteristics:

*They come into the world with a feeling of royalty (and
often act like it)
*They have a feeling of "deserving to be here," and are
surprised when others don't share that.
*Self-worth is not a big issue. They often tell the
parents "who they are."
*They have difficulty with absolute authority (authority
without explanation or choice).
*They simply will not do certain things; for example,
waiting in line is difficult for them.
*They get frustrated with systems that are ritually
oriented and don't require creative thought.
*They often see better ways of doing things, both at home
and in school, which makes them seem like "system busters"
(nonconforming to any system).
*They seem antisocial unless they are with their own kind.
If there are no others of like consciousness around them,
they often turn inward, feeling like no other human
understands them. School is often extremely difficult for
them socially.
*They will not respond to "guilt" discipline ("Wait till
your father gets home and finds out what you did").
*They are not shy in letting you know what they need.

Maybe the whole idea of Indigo children is just a way for
parents of precocious children (like me) to explain their
child's behavior in manner that isn't quite so negative.
They're not bad, they're special. A more highly evolved
human being. They're destined for greatness (which may be
true, but obedient, mild-mannered children can achieve
greatness, too). At this point in time Annie isn't doing
anything wrong, per se. She just thinks very highly of
herself, is immune to any kind of disciple other than the
demands she puts on herself and doesn't really give a
rat's ass what anyone else thinks. If she were 10 years
older I'd be impressed and incredibly proud. Right now,
I'm still proud, I'm just concerned that she's going to
outsmart me by the time she reaches middle school.

I feel better now that I've gotten that out. Now I'll go
read my book and try to get to sleep at a decent hour.
Ciao.




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