Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2009-02-19 06:11:41 (UTC)

The Pressure Of Sweet Recumbence

Deciding to put my physical discomforts on the back burner
was a good idea. I had another great day and I attribute
it totally to pushing through my inbred desire to crawl
back in bed or to vegetate on the couch in a little ball
of pain and self-pity. Gen helped, too. She invited me to
coffee :)

When I woke up this morning and moved for the first time,
it felt like every muscle in my body was screaming in
pain. It could have been the gardening (probably the 30
pound bag of mulch I'd been slinging around). Just to make
me feel a little better, my period started. So my body
hurt and I was cramping. Fun times. I had a lot of
discomfort to put out of my mind this morning.

After coffee, I debated with myself. Should I just come
home and lay down or should I stop by Home Depot and get
another bag of mulch? The one bag I put down yesterday
looked great, but I wanted to put some more under the
Rhododendrons by the front door and in the potted Rosemary
bush. Instead of caving under the pressure of sweet
recumbence, I dragged my ass to Home Depot. I bought
my 30 pound bag of mulch and I came home and spread it!
Not before I stopped off at Target for tampons, of
course :)

While I was at Target I picked up a very interesting-
looking book. "How to Practice: The Way to a Meaningful
Life" By His Holiness the Dalai Lama. So far I've only
read the foreword but after I finish writing I'm going to
get the house picked up, take a shower and then I'm going
to crawl into bed with a glass of water and my highlighter
and tear into it. I've got so much to learn and I think my
lessons should start with a bedtime routine. I need to
have the same kind of discipline with myself that I have
with the children. If I can keep them balanced and happy
why am I having such a hard time doing it for myself? It's
so easy to put my needs last. It's easier than putting
myself anywhere in the top 5. I feel guilty even thinking
about putting myself before anyone in my family. I'm one
step above the cats and fish. That's probably going to
have to change. Ciao.




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