Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2009-02-18 07:28:16 (UTC)

Self-Pity Is Pointless

Two hours ago I felt like I was on top of the world... I
probably should have written then. I still feel really
good now. I'm just getting tired. I think the endorphins
from my good day are starting to wear off. I feel very
very sleepy. Does that mean I'll get to bed before 3am?
One can only hope.

After I wrote this morning I decided that I need to stop
feeling so damn sorry for myself. There are people in the
world fighting much more debilitating physical and mental
conditions than anything I'm going through right now. So
I'm a little worn out. A little tired. I'm losing a little
hair. I've got plenty more. My point is, I shouldn't let
it stop me from doing the things I need and want to do. I
may have to push myself a little harder, but I'm going to
feel worn out whether I'm sitting around or getting stuff
done, so I might has well let myself have the satisfaction
of getting things accomplished. Self-pity is pointless.

Everything I wanted to do today, I did. I mailed Snookums'
package, I got the house clean. I went shopping AND I
worked in my garden. Once I was done with that I cooked
the girls a real meal for the first time since Snookums
left. I hate to admit it, but they've been living off
of "kid" food for the past month. Grilled cheese
sandwiches, corn dogs, Tyson chicken nuggets, canned
vegetables, bagged salad mix and Hot Pockets. They don't
seem to mind and they hardly seemed appreciative of
the "real" meal, but I felt good doing it. I made them
pork tenderloin, garlic mashed potatoes and steamed
broccoli. A funny thing happened when I tasted the pork
loin (for seasoning). It kind of grossed me out - the meat
taste and the texture. I haven't eaten meat in a long
time. I don't consciously strive to be a vegetarian. I
just am out of necessity. Meat doesn't agree with me. If I
get my issues fixed and am able to eat meat again, will I?
Maybe, I don't know.

It's still chilly here in Washington, but the past couple
days have been absolutely beautiful and sunny. The cherry
tree in my neighbor's yard is starting to bloom and that
always convinces me that Spring is imminent. I had to get
outdoors and enjoy the loveliness. It was so therapeutic
spending a couple hours digging in the dirt :) I'm
exceedingly proud of my little garden. I stopped by Home
Depot today and bought about $50 in annuals (and a Tuscan
Blue Rosemary bush. I love the smell). I didn't get a
bunch of perennials since we're not going to be here much
longer. I planted Laser Purple Cyclamen, fuchsia and white
Primulas, purple Violas, purple and white pansies and
California Poppies (from seed). They're supposed to be in
a variety of colors. I'm excited to see what pops up :)
Hopefully the man in the garden department is right and it
wasn't too soon to plant them. I've seen poppies sticking
out of snow drifts before so hopefully they'll make it.
Last year the wildflower seeds Annie and I planted didn't
make it because of our unseasonably cold Spring. I got a
pleasant surprise as I was clearing leaves out of the
garden. 3 of the bulbs I planted last year are sprouting!
A violet Hyacinth and 2 Daffodils. I thought the squirrels
had gotten to them all, but they missed a few. I hope that
next Spring they come back again and give the new
residents here a nice Spring surprise.

I need a shower. Annie and I put down new mulch and I feel
extraordinarily itchy. I think I have mulch dust in my
eyes, because they're itchy too. I should go take care of
that...Ciao.




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