Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2009-02-08 07:29:27 (UTC)

Pearl Harbor Is My Catalyst

I slept horribly last night. It never fails. Within the
first month of Snookums being gone I always manage to find
the one channel on TV that's playing the movie Pearl
Harbor in the middle of the night. I tell myself I
shouldn't watch it. It just upsets me, but I still watch
and of course... I get upset. It's just the one scene. The
one where the Japanese bomb Pearl Harbor and all of the
sailors on the Arizona are scrambling to General Quarters
(their battle stations), but there isn't enough time and
then the ship sinks and everybody's in the water or
trapped in the hull. It's too much for me. Yet I can't NOT
watch it. It's like Pearl Harbor is my catalyst. It
toughens me up and prepares me for the trails of
separation and the constant worry that some disgruntled
foreign country's politicians will lose their minds and
try to attack a very large, very valuable American
military vessel (i.e. an aircraft carrier loaded down with
fighter planes and over 6,000 Naval personnel). Don't get
me wrong. I know Snookums is much safer than the Army and
Marine troops on the ground (I'm eternally thankful for
that), but there is still a minute level of danger
involved. The Stennis is a floating target. My worst fear
is that something will happen and he won't come home.
That's not likely to happen, but preparing for the
unlikely prevents painful surprises when you least expect
it. Something COULD happen and I need to be mentally
fortified JUST IN CASE it does. I'm not overreacting, I'm
being cautious.

Annie says she did really well on her testing today. She
goes back for the 2nd portion February 28th. As much as I
want Annie to excel and make it into the higher classes,
I'm not crazy about her going to Junior High at 10 years
old. Annie is impressionable (as are most 10 year old
girls). I don't want her surrounded by teenagers. I had
the same problem when she was attending the youth and teen
center last year. There was minimal separation between the
youths and the teens. She was picking up all kinds of
negative behavior. I don't want to have to undo that
damage again. I vividly remember being 9 (going on 10) and
I was still playing with Barbies and My Little Ponies. So
much has changed in 16 years.

I'm going to attempt to get a better night's sleep
tonight. It shouldn't be too hard. I mean, what are the
odds they'll have Pearl Harbor on two nights in a row?
Ciao.




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