Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2009-02-05 07:02:26 (UTC)

Depression Never Goes Away

This morning I was positive that the doctors were right.
Depression never goes away. It's always there. Waiting for
it's chance. It lays dormant, waiting for your defenses to
weaken and then it sets in again. I was sure they were
right, but I don't know now. My circumstances have changed
and I'm feeling much better :) All it took was Snookums.
FINALLY! After 10 days of nothing. No emails, no phone
calls. Snookums finally called! Not once, but twice!

I've never been one of those women that NEEDS to be with a
man to feel whole. After I had Annie, I'd pretty much
sworn off men all together. I didn't think any of them
could be trusted and I figured I was better off without
one in my life, but then I met Snookums and he changed all
that. I can live without him. I'll survive, but I don't
want to. I want to be with my husband. I want to feel his
love, his touch. I want to be with him at all times. I
need him in my life and if I can't have him right now, I
want his emails and phone calls.

When I woke up this morning, I felt like I'd been out all
night drinking. My head hurt, I was sore all over. My mind
was foggy. My mood was low. It took all the energy I had
just to get out of bed. Getting dressed, getting the kids
dressed, felt totally out of the question. I figured the
little things I wanted to get done today could wait, so I
took a nice hot shower, put on some sweats and curled up
on the couch with Kiki. I was feeling pretty low. Then
Snookums called and changed all that. I don't think the
military takes into consideration how important that
contact is to those of us left behind. Even if it's just a
short note saying "I love you" or a 5 minute phone call
you can't really hear because a fighter plane is taking
off on the flight deck. It's still important. I'm SO
hoping they don't do that again.

Tomorrow I'll pick up where I left off and get back to
doing what I've got to do. At least now I've got emails to
look forward to again :) Ciao. I think I'll sleep well
tonight.




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