Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2008-11-13 07:56:39 (UTC)

Starbucks and Vasectomies

****

I just got home from work about half an hour ago. I still
need to eat something, then I'm going to bed. First thing
tomorrow morning Selena, Rebecca and I are going to get
mani/pedi's and I don't want to be cranky from lack of
sleep. I'm certainly tired enough to go to bed now, if I'd
only let myself.

Today was a pretty ordinary day. I hung around the house
all morning. Wednesday's are Annie's early release day, so
when she got home I ran a couple errands. I deposited my
paycheck and got a few groceries. That's about it.

Work was good. I swear my 5 hour shift flew by. It didn't
seem like 5 hours at all. One minute I'm clocking in, the
next I'm shutting the gates and turning off the music. Who
doesn't like their work day to fly by like that? Nothing
too interesting happened. Just the usual inappropriate
comments from guys, a couple come-ons and a stare down
from a rather frightening lesbian who apparently took a
liking to me. I've never been interested in having a
lesbian relationship, but I'm pretty sure if I was, I'd be
the woman :)

I got a long e-mail from Snookums tonight. It was pretty
run-of-the-mill until the last paragraph, which totally
caught me off guard. Apparently he's scheduled a vasectomy
for Tuesday. What is the Navy coming to? First a Starbucks
on board ship and now they're handing out vasectomies and
how do they perform surgery on a rocking ship? I suppose
it's in the Navy's best interest. Fewer dependants to
worry about. I'm not entirely sure how I feel about it.
Ultimately it's his body and if he wants to get it done,
that's his choice. He said he wanted to get it done as a
surprise, but thought I'd be mad. I wonder why he thought
I'd be mad? We've decided we're done having children and
while mentally, I'm totally okay with that, emotionally I
know I'm not. I may not want anymore children at this
point in my life, but I can't predict the future and I
don't feel like I'm ready to shut that door on the
possibility just yet. I think I'll ask advice about this
on mamasource. It feels slightly selfish and greedy. I've
got three beautiful, healthy children. I don't need more.
I should be grateful and take the best care I can of the
three I have. Maybe it's not about actually having more
children. Maybe it's about losing the ability to. It's got
to have at least a little bit to do with ego on my part. I
make no apologies, either. Hmmmm. I've got a lot to think
about. Ciao.




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