Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2008-10-18 07:02:41 (UTC)

Disappointment

***

I'm disappointed. I don't normally allow myself to get my
hopes up, because that's how disappointment happens. As a
child disappointment was a way of life for me, but as an
adult I learned not to get excited about anything until I
had it in my hand or it was happening at that moment. I
let my guard down.

Tonight I was supposed to go to the movies and dinner with
the wives from the ship. At the last minute they all
backed out. One was sick, one was broke, another said
she'd come, then backed out to go clubbing instead and the
last one couldn't come because her husband got to come
home on leave. That didn't help matters. I'm lonely and
disappointed and then I have to suffer through feelings of
injustice, too. My husband couldn't come home for the
birth of his son, but her husband got to come home for no
reason other than he'd requested leave and it got
approved? How is that even fair? I wish the military would
be more consistent about leave. Either everybody gets to
come home or nobody gets to come home. Each division is
different. If you've got too much (or too little)
authority you're screwed and if you piss the wrong person
off, you're screwed. I want my husband back and I hate the
Navy!

I went on a little shopping trip this afternoon. Target is
my favorite store at the moment. So that's where I went.
Kiki and Keenan were so good. They let me try on about 10
pairs of jeans, a million tops, dozens of shoes and I even
got to look at jewelry. Without so much as a whine from
Kiki or a cry from Keenan. I ended up getting a really
cute pair of trouser jeans, a top and some jewelry. I
would have worn my new outfit tonight, but that didn't
happen :( I guess some other occasion will arise, but I
won't instigate it. I've decided I'm not doing it again.
No one makes an attempt to get together without me
suggesting it. I contacted everybody. I figured out what
we would do. I made sure everyone had a sitter if they
needed one and I'm the only one that didn't have something
better to do tonight. My life is full enough with my
family. I don't need anymore friends. Gen is the only
friend I need and I barely have time to see her. How do
people maintain friendships with so many different people
and have a life at the same time?

My new neighbors have been quiet as church mice up until
tonight. They're playing jazz music a little too loudly.
I'm not that fond of jazz, but it's better than my old
neighbors moving furniture at midnight or chain smoking
into my living room. I've been thinking about going over
there and saying hello, but that would be WAY out of
character for me. So, I won't. Their kids are...
interesting. Whenever I come outside they run and hide.
They even hide from Kiki. Maybe they're just being
playful. I don't know and I really don't care. Ciao.




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