Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2008-10-16 07:46:12 (UTC)

My Adversity Is My Triumph

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Here I am staying up late, when I know my ass should be in
bed. Why do I continue to do this to myself? I'm running
on empty on a daily basis, but every night I stay up until
all hours. If I go to bed now I'll get 7 hours. It won't
be enough. 8 hours wouldn't be enough. Even 9 hours isn't
enough. I'll still be tired. I remember when 4 or 5 hours
could sustain me. What the hell happened? I think I might
know, but it's too soon to tell.

I drove the Toyota around today. It's nice enough, but I'm
not in love with it. Snookums and I actually got into a
little tiff about it (over the phone). He's overly excited
about coming home to a new vehicle. I really could care
less. I kind of have this icky feeling about it, actually.
All my life, I've had to work for everything. Nothing was
ever handed to me. There was always a struggle. I wouldn't
change that, either. I am who I am because of what I've
been through. My adversity is my triumph! I should be dead
or in a mental institution, but I'm not. I'm thriving. But
as most things in my life go, I'm experiencing polar
opposites. I went from having nothing given to me, to
having things handed to me practically on a silver
platter. I think I'd like the Toyota more if we'd worked
for it. Like the Impala. Snookums is perfectly okay with
being the spoiled little rich kid, because he knows no
different. But, I know differently and my children will,
too. They will know there is a middle ground.

I got to hang out with Gen and see her new house today!
It's very pretty. I love the openness of it, but it's not
too open, either. Even though we have more square footage,
her layout is way more functional. We've got wasted space
in the form of hallways and closed-in rooms. But, I can't
complain too much. I've got a nice home and it works for
us. Now that I've gotten an idea of their decor, I need to
get them a housewarming gift. Well, I don't need to, but I
want to :) Ciao.




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