Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2008-10-14 05:02:41 (UTC)

A Perpetual State Of Misery

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Today was Helena's last full day with us. She leaves
tomorrow. I have to be honest, I'm a little sad to see her
go. For the first time in awhile (since the last time she
was here) I didn't have to lift a finger to do a single
thing. She says she enjoys helping me, so I should just
sit back and let her. That's exactly what I did, too. Now
I'm starting to get a little antsy. I'm ready to take back
my house. It would be nice if she lived closer, but maybe
then I wouldn't appreciate her help as much. I'd like to
remain grateful, because I really do have so much in my
life to be grateful for. The day I start feeling
complacent about all the good there is in my life is the
day I need a swift kick in the pants.

When I take time to consider the path my life was taking
just 5 years ago, I thank every star in the sky for all
the wonderful things that happened to me instead. If I
believed in God, I'd thank him. Since I don't (go ahead
Christians, hate me if you must, but please don't try to
convert me) I'll continue to believe that good things
happen to good people and Karma is very real. Maybe if I'd
held on to the negativity created in me by my abusive
parents, my life would have ended up in the toilet. But,
who wants to live in a perpetual state of misery if
there's a better alternative? Continue striving for the
best life has to offer. Don't hurt others along the way
(if you can help it) and latch onto the smallest glimmers
of hope. That's the way I try to live and look how
fortunate I've been :)

Since I spent my day couch-surfing, I really feel the need
to hop on the the Gazelle for awhile. It's fabulous having
a piece of exercise equipment right in the house. I wish
I'd bought it sooner! I looked at expensive treadmills,
tread climbers and ellipticals, but the Gazelle is just
right. The perfect blend of compact design and aerobic
effectiveness.

I'm way under my 1500-1800 calorie target, but I'm not
hungry. So, I'm not sure if I should eat to stay on target
or not eat because I'm not hungry. Hmmm... I don't know.
Ciao!




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