Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2008-10-13 05:41:50 (UTC)

Chocolate Fudge Cake Has No Power Over Me!

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I'm starting to get slightly concerned about my waning
energy level. I don't think it's entirely due to lack of
sleep, because I'm averaging 7-8 hours a night. Almost two
more hours than I was getting when I was pregnant, yet I'm
MORE exhausted than I was then. I can barely function
during the day. I'm not eating too little (I don't think)
and I'm trying to eat a balanced diet. I'm just so run
down. I don't want to go to the doctor. They'd probably
just tell me it's stress or a by-product of having three
children, but it's getting progressively worse each day
and I'm not feeling well, either. My hands and feet are
cold and tingly, I've been getting headaches every day and
all of my joints hurt. I think it's time I take a trip to
Helen's (my friendly local health food store). I'm sure
they've got something that can help me regain some energy
that won't have a negative effect on Keenan. Thankfully,
even though I'm waning, he's thriving and that's of the
utmost importance to me.

Today I renewed our insurance policy. I took Jason's truck
off and put the Toyota on in it's place. Helena wants the
Toyota fully covered (even though it's paid off and
doesn't have to be). I can understand why. It's a 2006
with a little over 20,000 miles. It's a valuable vehicle
and if something were to happen to it, we'd want it fixed.
Damn. It was a huge expense, though. I like to buy our
policy outright, instead of paying monthly. You save so
much money that way. It's still painful shelling out
almost $900 a once. It wouldn't have cost so much if I
hadn't hit that rock a couple years back. All my speeding
tickets are gone. That was nice. The one I got in
California never did show up on my record. I've been a
good girl the past couple of years. I'm not saying I
haven't been speeding. I just haven't been getting
caught :)

Helena gave me the last piece of chocolate fudge cake
tonight. You have no idea how glad I am it's gone. I
didn't enjoy it the way I used to. I'm so empowered right
now. I don't feel the need to eat chocolate to make me
feel better. I feel fine without it. My anemia might be
getting the best of me, but other than that I'm in a great
place right now and emotional eating doesn't take
precedence in my life anymore. I'm trying to stay strong
and remember my goals. Chocolate fudge cake has no power
over me! More than anything, I just wanted Helena to know
how grateful I am to her. Having chocolate cake after the
kids go to bed is a little tradition she feels is special.
She brought it with her. How could I tell her no?

It's almost 10:45pm and all I can think about is going to
sleep. I'm so worn out I want to cry. I have to wait until
Keenan's ready for his last feeding. Otherwise he'll wake
up at 5am hungry and there's no way I'm getting up at 5am.
Ciao and goodnight.




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