rainy

My heart in a knot
2008-10-09 14:07:57 (UTC)

vent

So I've been having a really bad week, especially after the
4th.. and it's been consistent. Nothing is going to way I
want it and it seems like I keep talking steps backwards
instead of forward.

I think it has a lot to do with the way people have been
seeing me lately, it seems people express it more and
hearing it makes me feel bad.. although it motivates me to
make the improvements I need I still don't like to hear it.

So being borderline is no fun as you can see. I have up days
and down days... wait no.. it's more extream then that.. I
have up minutes and down minutes.. as in my mood changes by
the minute...I cant help it, it won't stop.

I still haven't really reached out like I said I would but I
have made a few minor changes... I think it's time I speed
this process up a bit more.. I'll have to go out and find
something, I'm not sure yet what, but I have to push myself
other wise I will not make it.

I'm still very frustrated over sean, and it doesn't help
that they keep switching my work schedule around plus I
haven't seen sean in 5 days...it's difficult being
borderline... I can't cope.

My problem is that I keep telling myself I'm going to do
something and make a change but I never do it.


But besides all this I do have some good news... I got a new
cell phone, : ) and I like it! It's a red orange and black
color.. it slides too. It also has a 1.3 mgpix camera and
takes short video.. really short video... only 30 seconds..
but that's ok. I am glad that I am finally able to have
something so that I can take pictures and video where ever I
go.. I am just that way.. every little thing I want to
remember and I like to use pictures for that. I have a few
pictures of me at work.. and I plan on taking more... Plus I
think I will take a picture of that figure in the window of
that store... and post it.

But the thing is I haven't got a micro SD card yet for my
phone.. I think I will get one when some extra money is
thrown my way.. so until I get that card it will cost me .25
cents to upload to the web for each.. and I'm not willing to
pay that especially if I'm unsure of how it will look once
it's off my phone.

The video quality isn't that great.. so it will not be
replacing my sony, but if by some chance I happen to come
across something really great I can at least have a 30
second video of it... even if it sounds horrible and has bad
pixels.


that's all I really have to talk about.. I know... sad.. but
still... anyway I have to go find a laundromat since the one
at my house is broken.. I was washing clothes and then I
heard a loud boom.. and when I went to check it out the
washing machine was smoking... I thought I was going to burn
the house down.. so now I have to go to a laundromat to wash
all my clothes... I am going to have to find one close by
but I'm skeptical... usually they are located in city areas
and my side of town is not really like that.. I guess they
expect everyone to have their own washer and dryer... but I
will see..

later..




Ad: