Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2008-10-08 07:55:18 (UTC)

Pain Is Progress

****

I don't really have anything to write about since I wrote
earlier. I went to work, that was about it. As always, it
was good. Sometimes I wonder what causes the issues that
some of the girls I work with have. I love my job. I
always enjoy being there, but I guess I'm just one of the
lucky people in the world that likes their employment.

I got to work with Tamara for the first time in awhile.
She's putting pressure on me. But, it's good pressure. She
wants me to open up my availability, since we're lacking
talent now that a lot of the tenured associates have moved
on to bigger and better things (marriage, children, new
careers). Currently I'm working twice a week, but she'd
like me to work at least three days a week. I appreciate
that she appreciates me, but I'm torn. I love being home
with my kids. I love that I'm the one raising them, not a
daycare or babysitter. I also love my work and I truly
enjoy being there. I agreed to open my availability a
little. Wednesdays. The only problem I have with it is
when Snookums comes home. Evenings are our time together.
He'll be home for six weeks before going on deployment. Of
course it's during holiday, when I work more often, but
once he's gone in January I'll relish the extra time at
work. Keeping busy takes my mind off of him being gone.
We'll still have the weekends, though. It's not like we
won't be spending the rest of our lives together. I need
to feel like I'm a contributing member of society, not
just a wife and mother. Not that being a wife and mother
is a bad thing. It's the best thing... This paragraph is
mental regurgitation. Pardon my running on.

I think I might have overdone it on the exercise equipment
today. Already my thighs and abs are burning sore! I'm
happy about it, though. Pain is progress. The only problem
I'm having with losing weight is actually a good thing.
I'm not eating enough. So far today I've only had 560
calories. My goal is to stay between 1500-1800 to protect
my milk supply. The problem is, I don't find food very
appealing. When I'm with Snookums, eating is a form of
entertainment, not simple sustenance. He eats because he
likes to eat. I eat because he encourages me to do so.
When he's not home to feed me, I don't eat as much. I'm
going to have a nice big salad with some chik'n patties to
make up for the missed calories. I don't want my body to
think it's starving. And there goes the oven timer... Ciao!




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