Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2008-09-28 09:09:29 (UTC)

A Beautiful Moment

****

It's late. Almost 2am. I meant to write earlier, but
somehow I forgot. You'd think after writing faithfully for
over three years that wouldn't happen, but once in awhile
it does. When you spend all day with children, the
evenings are a valuable respite. Time to be alone. A
chance to do the adult things that seem like frivolous
luxuries when there are motherly duties to attend to. It's
still not a good excuse to be up so late. I need more
sleep, I know that. It's just so hard to make myself go to
sleep when all I have to look forward to is a big, cold,
empty bed. I miss Snookums.

I did get to talk to Snookums a few times today, that
helped. He called me again this afternoon and then around
10pm before he went to bed. The ship picked up it's air
wing in San Diego and are pulling out of port tomorrow, so
no more phone calls for awhile. I'm grateful for what I
got. Hearing his voice is soothing. I love him so much. At
times I can't imagine how I lived life before him.
Especially when it's so hard living without him now.

Today was a glorious day. The clouds that were so
pervasive this morning rolled away to reveal a most lovely
day. The perfect early fall day. The sky was so blue and
flawless. The air was crisp and clean. Not too cold, but
pleasantly mild. I decided to forgo the cleaning rampage
I'd set out on. I figured my time would be better spend
outside. So, that's what I did. I ended up with six
neighborhood kids down at Elwood Point (the big playground
here in Jackson Park). It's not far from my house, but too
far for most of the children to go without a parent. I'd
started out with just my children, but Annie was outside
with her "posse" as I like to call them. Most of her
friends have younger siblings (Kiki's age), so I
volunteered to take them, too. Kiki hates being left
behind when Annie goes somewhere and I'm sure it's the
same for them. It was fun. Children have a way of filling
that lonely void. I still wished Snookums could have been
here, but you can't dwell on that when you've got a bunch
of kids running in different directions. It was a great
diversion.

Just a few minutes ago I stepped outside onto the dining
room balcony. The night is absolutely breathtaking, I
couldn't resist. There isn't a single breath of wind. It's
totally silent. The water looks like a solid sheet of
black glass and the sky is filled with brilliant stars. I
could see several familiar constellations. When I was 12 I
got a telescope for Christmas. I can remember looking into
the perfect night sky over Guam and learning the different
astronomical characters. Of course I'm at a different
vantage point than I was in Guam, but I could still point
out the Big Dipper, the Little Dipper, Orion's belt, and
Jupiter. There are times when I feel very connected to the
universe around me. Not just living in it, but a part of
it. That's how I felt standing on my balcony, looking at
the stars. It was a beautiful moment.

I should be going to bed now. The kids will be up in six
hours and if I fall asleep soon I'll still be able to get
at least five. Ciao.




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