Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2008-08-21 06:13:56 (UTC)

Insanity Is A Slippery Slope

***

I'm resigned to the fact that Annie is gone. I know she's
safe and she's doing fine (they'd call me if she wasn't).
So, I should stop worrying and just look forward to seeing
her on Saturday. I'll try, but I can't make any promises.

The weather has been pure crap the past few days. Luckily
crap is the best lounging-around weather. Which is what I
have to do a lot of right now. I'm supposed to be staying
off my feet as much as possible, avoiding stairs and doing
my stupid little R.O.M (range of motion) exercises. So, I
laid in bed for half the day flexing my toes and then the
other half of the day I spent on the couch; Still flexing
my toes. Fun.

The only nice part about staying off my feet is the time
I'm spending with the babies. Kiki and Keenan spent the
day in bed with me. It was so warm and cozy. Kiki is a
cuddler by nature and Keenan is nursing more these days
(due to a growth spurt I'm assuming), so we spent the day
curled up together. We had a love-in. John Lennon would
have been proud :)

Snookums came home from work and picked up on the slack
I've left around the house. Mainly laundry. For the first
time since we've lived here and have had separate
bathrooms, we ran out of towels in ours and had to use the
towels from the girls' bathroom. Snookums didn't say
anything about it, he just came home and did it. He may
piss me off once in awhile, but he really is a good man.
He moved me out to the couch and propped me up with a nice
cold Diet Coke so I could watch Olympic speed walking.
Betcha never knew speed walking was an Olympic event :)
It's pretty hilarious to watch. It looks like a bunch of
woman rushing to the bathroom after eating bad Chinese
food. Ha ha! I made a funny! Bad Chinese food. The
Olympics are in China. Okay, so it wasn't that funny.

We had spaghetti for dinner tonight. Even though I told
myself I wasn't going to dwell on Annie's absence, dinner
made me a little sad. Spaghetti is Annie's favorite meal.
She can eat me under the table when it comes to spaghetti.
There's a ton of leftovers because she wasn't here to eat
her share. Man, I'm a lost cause. I said I wasn't going to
dwell on Annie's absence, yet here I am dwelling again.

Speaking of eating, this week has not gone well for me in
the healthy living department. I've lost 8 pounds over the
past couple of weeks, but I've fallen off the wagon this
week. I haven't just fallen off the wagon, the wagon
stopped, backed up, and ran me over. Then the wagon threw
it in drive and ran over me again. If it wasn't cookies,
it was ice cream. I think I even ate my weight in cheese
puffs. I'm so ashamed. I haven't decided what I want to do
about it. Beat myself up over it (and have another cookie)
or be optimistic and convince myself that I should get
back on track tomorrow (not an easy task with cheese
puffs, cookies and chocolate ice cream in the house). I'm
a lost cause on so many levels. Where's the determination
and conviction I had just a couple weeks ago? Satan
himself could have offered me a cookie and I would have
turned my nose up. Now I swear the cookies are talking to
me! "Jennifer...come eat us". Insanity is a slippery slope.

Tomorrow is another day. Another opportunity to make
things right. Or another opportunity to screw up some
more. Whatever I decide to do. I'll figure it out
tomorrow. Ciao.




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