Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2008-08-15 05:16:25 (UTC)

Slow and Steady

*****

I haven't been as happy as I am right now in a long time.
Not since Keenan was born. My mood took a sharp downward
turn there for awhile, but I feel like it's starting to
level out. My hormones are regulating and I feel much more
normal. Thank goodness for that. My energy level? Still
leaving a little to be desired, but energy and mood are
two different things. I can be tired, but happy and I've
been energetic, but sad. I'm doing good right now.

I had a weird day. I can't put my finger on why it was
weird, but it didn't feel like an ordinary day and the
time flew by fast. One minute I'm feeding Keenan thinking
about what I'm going to do with my day, then I look at the
clock and it's time for me to get ready for work! I made
myself a housework list, but I didn't get anything done on
it. Maybe I'll have better luck tomorrow. I really need to
do some things around the house. Snookums and I have a
full laundry basket and the floors are in need of a good
sweep (vacuuming for the carpets, of course) and mopping
(for the non-carpeted areas).

I feel bad for Kiki. She's at a difficult age. She's
starting to pull away from me and become more independent,
but really she's still little and doesn't have the skills
necessary to be more than a few rooms away from me at any
given time. She still needs to be watched. This morning
Annie offered to take Kiki blackberry picking (right
behind our house there's a patch of bushes just starting
to ripen). I let her only because I could see them from
the dining room balcony and the living room windows, but I
was nervous the whole time. About 20 minutes later Annie
brought her home and split with one of her friends. Kiki
was devastated. It took 30 minutes of crying, a sippy cup
of apple juice and a nap to get her to calm down. She
thinks she's all grown up, especially since she's using
the potty now. I hate to break it to her...

Tonight was one of my two work nights. It never fails, I
somehow always end up rushing right before work. It makes
me not want to go when I get rushed, but I always feel
better once I get there, get clocked in and settled in my
zone. My job makes me happy :) Because I was rushing to
get out of the house, I didn't eat anything. I was being
sustained by a bowl of raisin bran I'd had 6 hours
earlier. I didn't even get hungry until around 7:30pm. So,
I had a Diet Pepsi and a handful of Goldfish crackers. The
dinner of champions! I need to do better tomorrow. I'm
trying to stick with healthy methods of dropping the
pounds. I don't want to revisit my past vices. You can't
remain in a constant state of dieting your entire life, so
I'm not even going to try. I'll stick with slow and
steady, instead. I'm seeing tangible results, though!
Tonight when I buttoned my blazer, I had two inches of
give. I still had to suck it in on Tuesday just to get it
buttoned at all.

I got a lovely compliment tonight. It made me smile :) I
was helping an attractive middle-aged lady (somewhere in
her mid to late 50's) find a bra. She needed a fitting and
wanted something that would give her a lift without being
too ostentatious. I had her try a Biofit. It's got a
little lift, but nothing drastic. She loved it. When she
came out of the fitting room she said "It's perfect! Now
if only I could look like you." Me, feeling perpetually
down on myself about my weight, listed off all of my
flaws. She interrupted me and said "Nonsense. You're
gorgeous. You're a very beautiful woman. Stop telling
yourself otherwise." So, I shut up. Snookums always tells
me I'm beautiful, but I figure he's kind of obligated.
Maybe I'm not as ghastly as I feel at times.

Keenan beckons. It's time for his bedtime feeding. After
that I think I'll shower and retire myself. I'm just SO
tired. Ciao!




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