Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2008-08-09 06:10:34 (UTC)

That Isn't What I Signed Up For

***

I'm in a bad mood. My husband is an inconsiderate moron
and I want to hit him in the face with a frying pan. If
there were any way I could get away with it (without going
to jail) I would. Sadly, this isn't possible, so I'll
control myself.

My day hasn't been overtly bad, just not the best. I have
my stupid husband to thank for this. He took a minor thing
and made it into an issue. I don't know why he can't be
the grown up I need him to be sometimes. It's like I have
a fourth child. A really big son that makes really big
messes and doesn't pay attention to a damn thing I say.

Keenan has been fussy all afternoon and all evening. I
don't know what's wrong or how to fix it. The only thing
that makes him happy is to nurse or at least be latched
on. Jason made one feeble attempt at calming him down, but
got frustrated. So, he plopped the baby in the swing and
went to take a 5 hour nap. WHAT THE HELL? I had Keenan
screaming bloody murder, Kiki following me every where I
went and I was trying to do laundry and get dinner ready.
All while my dear husband snored away with his Ipod on, so
he wasn't hearing a damn thing. This evening Keenan's
crying reached a fevered pitch. The only thing I could do
to calm him down and stop the crying was to sit on the
couch and nurse non-stop. Left side then right, back and
forth from 7pm until a little after 10pm. He's quieter
now, but still not happy. Where's my husband? Nodding off
on the couch. You'd think after sleeping until 6:30pm he
wouldn't be tired at 10:30pm, but I highly underestimate
my husband's ability to be a lazy ass.

Kiki's doing very well with using the potty. She hasn't
had an accident (day or night) in over a week. The only
problem we're having is that she pees on the toilet seat.
So, I put a bottle of Lysol and a roll of paper towels in
the bathroom so I could clean the seat after Kiki was
done. The Lysol has bleach in it. My genius husband
sprayed the Lysol all over the place (instead of on the
paper towel) and got huge orange bleach stains on my
chocolate brown rug. I love that rug. It's got a deep,
thick pile that feels so good when you get out of the
shower. Now it's ruined. I would have rathered he didn't
clean the toilet at all. I know it seems trivial to be
upset about a rug, but it isn't about the rug really. I
was already pissed off about the whole day-long nap,
abandoning me with a fussy baby thing. So, pretty much
anything he did would have pissed me off a little more.
Sometimes I feel like a single parent. Not that there is
anything wrong with being a single parent, but that isn't
what I signed up for. I spend 6-9 months out of the year
being a single parent. Is it so much to ask to have a
little back-up when he is home? I shouldn't feel guilty
for wanting help. They are his children, too.

Another subject of contention between us is food. I've
been very good about what I eat lately. I'm watching
portions, making good food choices, getting exercise and
trying to motivate him to do the same. That's what he
asked me to do. Jason has to stay within standards or the
Navy can keep him from re-enlisting. Instead of going on a
crash diet a month before PRT (physical readiness
training) like he has been doing for the past 6 years, he
needs to just get in shape, stay in shape and maintain
standards at all times. Well, a lot of thanks I'm getting
for trying to help him succeed with that. He's like a
crack addict fiending for a high. He wanted to hit Arby's
5 for $5.95 menu today and I told him "no". So, he had a
hissy-fit like a big ass baby. I can't give up on him,
though. If the Navy - in essence - kicks him out, what
will become of our family? He has no marketable skills,
he's lazy, has a crappy work ethic and doesn't work well
with others. I can take care of my own on my own, but once
again, that isn't what I signed up for.

Keenan is asleep now. So, I think I'll take a few moments
for myself. Maybe read my book. I don't know. Something to
take my mind off how much I want to maim my husband. Ciao.




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