Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2008-08-04 05:48:39 (UTC)

A Rolling Stone

****

Going even one day without writing in my diary feels
wrong. I'm so accustomed to writing at least once
(sometimes twice) daily that it feels wrong when I don't.
No, nothing is wrong. I've just been uninspired lately. As
much as I like my life at the moment, it still gets old
writing the same things day in and day out, and while I
don't write for an audience per se, I can imagine it gets
old to the handful of people I know read my diary at least
on a weekly or biweekly basis. What can I say, my life is
on hold at the moment. I'm okay with that. For now. But,
as the the ancient proverb states: "a rolling stone
gathers no moss". I'd like to think of myself as a rolling
stone.

Keenan is 7 weeks old today. I can't believe how quickly
time has passed. It seems like only yesterday I brought
him home. Yet on the other hand, he's still only 7 weeks
old and it feels like I've known him forever. According to
the babycenter.com updates I get weekly he's meeting all
his milestones. I think my favorite milestone is his
smile. He's been smiling since 3 weeks, but now it's much
more intentional and often. Whenever you look at him he
busts out in a huge gummy grin and coos while pedaling his
legs. He's changed so much in such a short time. I wish I
could stop time and keep him tiny for a little while
longer.

He's sleeping 8 hours a night now. From 11pm to 7am. I
absolutely can't complain about that. He's done it the
past three nights in a row, getting up only to eat then
he's back down until 10 or 11am. He stays awake a good 90
minutes to two hours in the middle of the day, then takes
a long nap in the early afternoon and is up sometime
during the early evening. He's getting on a predictable
(and desirable) schedule without me having much to do with
it. He's still sleeping in the swing for now. It's got a
30 pound weight limit, so he's got time to outgrow the
need.

I've got a love/hate relationship with breastfeeding. I
hate that my breasts leak like defective beer kegs when I
get out of the shower. I hate that I squirt milk when I
orgasm (so does Snookums). I hate that my breasts are so
large they have their own zip code. On the other hand, I
love knowing I'm creating the perfect food for my son. I
love the closeness we share that no one else has with him.
I love the convenience of not having to fix bottles, wash
bottles, or buy expensive formula. Breastfeeding wins
hands down. Now that we're better at it, I hate the thinks
I hate less and I love the things I love more. Did that
make sense? Things are definitely better in that
department.

I'm having a little problem with bleeding. A couple weeks
ago the lochia stopped almost completely. All that was
left was a slight pinkish yellow discharge, but a couple
days ago a fair amount of bright red bleeding started back
up. It's not enough to be my period (which I didn't get
until 3 months after I stopped pumping milk for Kiki at a
year old) and it isn't consistent. It'll be heavy for
awhile, then lighten some, then get heavy again. I read
something about a sixth week bleed that happens to nursing
mothers, but I don't know much about it. I should do more
research. Snookums is concerned and wants me to make an
appointment. I'm not worried. Mostly just inconvenienced.
I've been wearing pads and pantiliners for MONTHS now. I'd
like my vagina back and I'd like it back to normal,
please. I haven't made my postpartum appointment yet
because I'm waiting for all bleeding and discharge to stop
totally, which it hasn't yet. It's frustrating. Keenan is
SO my last baby. I don't want to go through this again.

Snookums and I have decided that we can officially call
Kiki potty-trained. She's gone a full week with no
accidents. Not even at night. She doesn't tell us when she
has to go to the bathroom, but instead takes her self. The
Dora the Explorer padded potty seat I bought from Target
was the best $10 I've ever spent! She hated Dora when we
first started this journey, but now when we ask "Do you
need to visit Dora for a minute?" she runs right into the
bathroom and does her thing. Almost on cue. I'm so glad
that phase of Kiki's development is behind us.

I'm still considering going back to the gym. I think about
it all the time. Unfortunately thinking doesn't burn very
many calories. So, I should stop thinking and start doing.
One of these days...Ciao.




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