Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2008-07-12 20:06:38 (UTC)

My Lazy-Ass Husband

Usually I complain about my kids, stupid people that cross
my path, things I don't like or motherhood issues, but
today I have a new topic to bitch about! My husband. Being
that Snookums is in the Navy, he's hardly ever home. So, I
don't have too many complaints with him over-all. However,
he's been home for almost two weeks and it's been a slow
progression from mildly irritated to pissed off. Yesterday
afternoon I got upset a little and then this morning it
occurred to me that I'm pissed off at him. Why? Simple.
He's slacking off with his parental duties and if that
weren't bad enough, he isn't helping around the house.

When Snookums first got home, he bent over backwards to
help me around the house. He was taking care of the
everyday cleaning stuff (picking up, doing dishes, washing
little loads of laundry AND putting them away) and taking
care of the girls. If Keenan cried, day or night, Snookums
was at his side in a heartbeat. The help was great. About
a week ago he said to me "you're such a strong woman, I
don't know how you do all this when I'm not home". I
should have known that compliment meant something more,
because from that point on, he's done less and less. To
the point where now he hardly even gets out of bed at all.
If he does, its to fall asleep on the couch. I know he
can't be tired, because he isn't getting up with Keenan
and I at night like he was before.

We use the same system we used when Kiki was small. He got
up, changed her diaper and brought her to me for feeding.
This is exactly how things went up until a couple nights
ago. Now, if Keenan cries, he gets up and shoves a soothie
in his mouth and gets back in bed. WHAT THE HELL IS THAT
SUPPOSED TO ACCOMPISH? He knows the child is hungry.
Keenan doesn't even like the pacifier very much! Why would
he just shove a pacifier in his mouth? He's done this the
past two nights. I got upset with him about it, so early
this morning when Keenan started to fuss he did get up to
change him, only he waited until the poor child had worked
himself into a full scream and then got up to change his
diaper. It seemed like it took an eternity for Jason to
finish changing the damn diaper and bring Keenan to me and
when he finally did, the baby was crying big tears and had
the hiccups. I wanted to punch him in the face. I will no
longer wait for him to do his part, because it isn't fair
to Keenan. I'll handle everything because I can. My
husband's need for 12 hours of sleep per day is more
important to him than taking care of his baby. So, I'll
pick up the slack.

During the day yesterday wasn't much better than the past
couple nights. Jason locked himself in our bedroom and
took a three hour nap from 2pm-5:30pm, leaving me alone
with all three kids. I was trying to feed Keenan as Kiki
threw toys over the dining room balcony (into the grass
below) and Annie screamed at her (like that was really
going to accomplish anything), then the two of them
started fighting and I couldn't break it up because I was
feeding Keenan. At that moment I was wondering what good
Jason taking leave was doing me. Had he been at work, I
would have been in the same situation, only I would have
accepted it, because he would have been working and not
sleeping a few rooms over.

As soon as he woke up and came out, I handed him the baby
and locked myself in the bathroom. I didn't want to talk
to him and I needed a moment to decompress. Since I'm not
afforded the luxury of being away from the children for
three hours, I just painted my toenails and tried to
forget that I wanted to hit my husband in the head with a
frying pan. It helped.

When I came out of the bathroom, Snookums had served the
girls dinner without me tell him to. He handed me my purse
and said I should get out of the house to get us dinner
(yeah, we've been living on all manner of take-out, fast
food and grocery store convenience foods lately. Cooking
is not fun in 80 degree heat and I'm too tired to even
want to try). The smallest break made me feel so much
better, I let my anger go and had forgotten about it by
the time I wrote last night. Which is why I hadn't
mentioned it, but last night (and very early this morning)
was the last straw. I don't think my husband had his mind
right before coming home. He's said probably a dozen
times "I don't remember Kiki doing this (or that, whatever
the usually negative behavior may be)". I told him each
baby is different and a lot of things he's just choosing
not to remember (because I certainly remember them).

It's just easier to take on the responsibility myself and
let go of the expectation of help. Expecting help and not
getting it is more frustrating than just doing it myself.
So, that's what I'll do. I just needed to vent about my
lazy-ass husband. I'm ready to suck it up and deal with it
now. Ciao.





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