Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2008-07-08 05:28:02 (UTC)

Amor Vincit Omnia

****

We had a fun day today. It was long, hot, tiring and had a
couple of rough spots, but for the most part it was fun.
Ultimately, I'm really glad we made the effort to get out
of the house.

Very early this morning, during Keenan's first feeding at
6am, Snookums and I decided it was essential that we get
the kids out of the house. Seattle is always a crowd-
pleaser. So, our plan was to walk around Pike Place Market
and maybe the aquarium if he had time (we didn't, it was
too crowded). It took us a couple hours to get everyone
showered, dressed and in the car, but we did it.

We parked the car downtown, took the ferry across, had
lunch at Ivar's, walked around Pike Place Market, then
caught the 4:20pm ferry and came home. That was the
abridged version of our day.

It was insanely busy at the market. I figured because it
was Monday it wouldn't be, but it was. Damn tourists :) We
struggled through the crowds and got to look at most of
the vendors' displays. Snookums bought me my traditional
bouquet of flowers (lilies, baby's breath, pineapple
thistle, peonies, poppies, carnations and greenery I don't
know the name of). He also bought me a most thoughtful
belated birthday present, since he was gone for my
birthday. A 1/4" hand-hammered silver cuff bracelet with
the inscription "Amor Vincit Omnia (Love Conquers All)"
hand-carved into it (just the Latin, not the English). The
older lady selling them was a little rough around the
edges, but very sweet. She showed me how to clean it and
take care of it. It's beautiful. It's a shame it'll be
scratched up in a week or less. Oh well, that'll just give
it character!

The rough spots in my day came around Keenan's feeding
time. I'm very self-conscious about nursing in public. I'm
perfectly okay with it when it comes to everyone else. I
thought I'd be okay with it for me, too. Apparently I'm
not, because I was almost brought to tears twice because
too many people were looking at me. On the way to Seattle,
I found a nice secluded corner of the ferry and I was able
to feed Keenan without too many people noticing. I had a
blanket over me and everything, but people know what
you're doing when you drape a blanket over you and I was a
little insecure about that, but I got over it. While at
the market, I was forced to feed Keenan sitting on a dirty
bench next to a street performer, because it was so
crowded we couldn't find anywhere else. That was HORRIBLE.
I might as well have set out my own hat for tips, because
I felt like I was on display. Pretty much the same thing
happened on the way home. We were late getting to the
ferry, of course it was packed and the only place I could
sit to feed the baby was a seat right on the aisle,
heading outside. Needless to say, about 100 people walked
passed. At this point I was tired and frustrated and
embarrassed and all I wanted to do was come home and feed
my baby without half the world watching me (and possibly
disapproving, although that didn't bother me so much as
the watching me part). Once we got off the ferry and into
the car, my anxiety subsided a lot and now I feel fine.
I'm having more hang-ups about breastfeeding than I
thought I would. Especially since I don't usually care
what people think or say about me.

I hadn't actually taken into consideration how much
walking, stair-climbing and standing would be involved in
this little outing of ours today and by the time we got
home (around 6pm), I was seriously wiped out. I still am,
but after sitting down for most of the evening I'm feeling
better. I know I'm going to be regretting it in the
morning. I'm going to take a shower now. I need it. Ciao.




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