Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2008-07-06 02:30:40 (UTC)

Days In A Daze

****

I'm in a pretty damn good mood today. Surprisingly enough,
today is a carbon copy of yesterday. I'm doing the exact
same things. Feed the baby, change the baby, rock the
baby, repeat. Only, he slept through the night last night,
isn't eating every half hour and is actually letting me
put him down long enough to take a pee or get a drink.
It's amazing how much brighter your outlook is when your
newborn isn't screaming.

Life has kind of reached a stalemate for me. I don't feel
like I've got much to look forward to. Keenan has been
born. Snookums is home. All the major events in my life
have happened and now I'm just passing the days in a daze.
That sounds funny :) I could look forward to Sue coming at
the end of the month (not) or Helena bringing us a new SUV
in October (not so much, either. That's 3 months away and
with gas prices the way they are, a hybrid would be a more
thoughtful gift. But, when it's free who can be picky)? We
are talking about the woman who doesn't "believe" in
global warming. Yeah, Helena things it's all a conspiracy.
That was an interesting conversation, but I digress...

I've reached the point I came to after Kiki was born. The
point where the novelty of a newborn wore off and it was
strictly business as usual. Babies are wonderful, but the
newness of the situation wears off whether you want it to
or not. Now I've got to find ways to keep myself upbeat
and happy. Eventually Snookums is going to go back to work
and I'll be here alone with the kids again. Maybe that
won't be such a bad thing.

I'm looking forward to going back to work in a few weeks.
Not full-time like I used to, but a couple evenings a week
like I did towards the end of my pregnancy. I don't want
to spend too much time away from Keenan just yet (he
hasn't taken to the bottle at all, so feeding him would be
disastrous for Snookums or Selena). Work has always made
me feel a little better about myself. Given me a purpose
beyond just being a wife and mother. Another dimension to
my being. I'm fighting like hell to not be self-conscious
about how fat I've gotten. Or how flabby my stomach is.
It's very hard, though. It's been 3 weeks (tomorrow) since
Keenan was born (goodness, how the time flies). I feel
like I should be making progress in some way, shape or
form. I can't diet, I can't work out. How am I ever going
to fix the disaster that is my body? I don't know, but I'm
thinking about it, which is exactly what I'm trying NOT to
do.

I need to go make dinner. It's getting late and the girls
need to be heading off to bed soon. Yes, even in the
Summertime they go to bed at 8pm. Routine is king in my
home :) Ciao.




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