rainy

My heart in a knot
2008-06-29 20:52:51 (UTC)

I'm alive

Well I guess my last entry was a bit depressing... I know I
really have to stop doing that... anyway a few small changes
have been made but nothing major that has changed my views
on things...

All I really want to talk about though is sean... he just
continues to ignore me, like today I did a return and he
didn't talk to me... I mean.. there were a million things he
could of said but yet he said nothing... I mean that in a
way like he will not start up small talk with me... no
laughing no joking around......It really hurts me because I
liked when we first met and he would joke around with me all
the time.. I guess he is also under a bit of stress but he
still jokes with everyone else... and talks freely to them
as well. I mean just the other night he and some girl were
talking freely.. that's the way I want to talk to him, but
no he just continues to ignore me.. and it hurts so much.

The thing is that I don't even really know what I did.

I mean things were going great until he called me and told
me he didn't want to hang out with me like we were before..
but yet he asked me to a club that same night.. it's not
even like we were dating, I didn't see any thing wrong with
what was going on between us. --- this is just so stressful
to me.. and it's what brought on my sickness...


When I went to the doctor I thought I was dying... and I
explained everything to her and she began to ask me
questions and she asked me was I under any stress.. I said
no but the situation with sean caused my stress.. and it
caused me to get sick.. that's just how bad it is. Of
course I'm not blaming sean.. he plays a role but not the
entire role, plus I've been working more... so that's not
really great..

I just wish he'd treat me like before.. but it's like he's
made up his mind about something regarding me.. like he will
just continue to ignore me, like he wants nothing to do with
me... and so far I haven't been able to say to him what I've
wanted to say... is this situation hopeless? how can I make
him understand?... I think I may have a few ideas.. but I
lack creativity... so I think I'm going to ask for some help
with this one... : )

well I've got work to do... so until next time...




Ad: