Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2008-06-20 05:36:39 (UTC)

I Should Be More Careful

I already wrote earlier today, but it's the time I usually
write and all the children are asleep (albeit temporarily
in Keenan's case). I'm a creature of habit and my habit is
to write in the evening after the kids go to bed...So,
here I am. Why am I explaining myself? Who cares how often
I write?

I over-did myself this afternoon. Kiki woke up from her
nap a little before 5pm and came looking for me (I was
downstairs throwing in a load of laundry and cleaning the
cat room). She looked so cute, rubbing her eyes, calling
out for me. She's still my baby, too. Just a really big
one. Anyhow, I decided we needed to get out of the house.
It wasn't raining or cold. It wasn't too sunny. It was a
good afternoon to take a little stroll down to the park.
So, I fed the baby, loaded him into his sling and the
three of us took a walk down to the park. Annie met up
with us along the way (she'd been playing down the street
with friends). I was amazed at how much more energy I
have. Breathing is easy! I didn't get tired or out of
breath at all. I hadn't realized just how taxing being
pregnant really was. I knew it was taxing, but not the
full extent. The only issue I was having with our little
walk, was my stitches and my uterus. I couldn't walk very
fast and it eventually started to feel like my uterus was
going to fall out. I'm sure it was in no danger of doing
such a thing, but it sure felt like it. By the time we got
home, I was not feeling so wonderful and my bleeding had
picked up a little. I suppose that would meet the
definition of overdoing it. I should be more careful. Will
I? Probably not.

I'm lonely. I know that sounds crazy, being that I have
three children. One of them a newborn that keeps crazy
hours, but it's not people-contact I miss. I can get that
anytime. It's Snookums. I miss my Snookums. I know you
don't hear me say that very often. I try not to dwell on
it because there's no good reason to, but looking at
Keenan reminds me of him constantly and makes it hard NOT
to think about him being gone. I'll never understand why
he had to miss out on something as important as the birth
of his son. Sometimes I think the Navy is testing me and I
hate them for it. All of them. I'm tired of being tested.

I've got a load of laundry that's ready to come out, so I
need to go do that. Ciao for now.




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