Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2008-06-15 01:32:45 (UTC)

I Will ALWAYS...

****

I'm writing early tonight because I'm totally wiped out
and I know I'll need my rest for tomorrow. I may write
later anyway (if I can't sleep or I get anxious), but at
the moment 7:30pm (bedtime for the girls) seems very far
away and all I want to do is sleep. I don't want anything
in the way of me and my bed when I get the girls down.

I had a great day for the most part. At times it was
frustrating, aggravating, enraging, but on the whole, it
was great. I took the damaged pajamas back to Ross
(because I won't have a chance next week and beyond a week
I'll end up forgetting) and exchanged them for a cute
little white ruffly set instead. It's very sweet and
feminine. Just like me :)

The girls had a good time at the zoo. We didn't get to see
much between Kiki's little legs and my inability to move
around very well or very quickly. We did get to see the
aquarium, the Asian Forest Sanctuary, the Arctic Tundra
and most of the wild life show. Not bad for a little kid
and a 10 months pregnant lady! Annie on the other hand
could have made a lap around the zoo twice in the time she
spent waiting on Kiki and I to catch up. Next time will be
different. I won't be pregnant and Kiki will be in the
stroller with Keenan. Not to mention daddy will be there
to keep children from running in opposite directions.
Which was my primary problem today. I'm still so glad we
went. It was fun doing something different with them. I
wanted them to know they are special, even though I'll be
focused on the baby for awhile. I let them pick out a
souvenir from the gift shop, too (I'm so generous). Annie
got a snow leopard stuffed animal and Kiki got a lollipop.
I tried to encourage her to get something a little more
permanent, but she insisted all she wanted was the
lollipop. Okay then.

I had a little run-in with another mother, but I think I
handled it very well. Unlike the usual me who would have
blown up at her or said something rude. Kiki was wearing
her teddy bear harness, which has a leash on it. I wasn't
using the leash. She was walking just fine on her own and
wasn't running off (yet). The leash was attached just as a
precaution. The other lady was walking next to me,
slightly ahead. She looked at Kiki and said "that little
girl is so cute, but those harnesses are a little
demeaning, if you ask me". I was busy putting fresh
batteries in my camera, so I didn't even look up at her I
just said very calmly "you may feel they're demeaning, but
it's better than losing your child in a crowd, wouldn't
you agree?" Then I walked away from her. She had a very
sheepish look on her face the next time I saw her. I don't
think she realized Kiki was mine or that I was within
earshot. I don't understand why people feel that their
opinions on how to raise children are the end-all-be-all
and everyone else is wrong. It's about what works for you
and your family. For her information, Kiki loves her teddy
bear harness. She ASKS to wear it and went 4 days without
taking it off (except to bathe and change clothes).
Besides, do 3 year olds even understand the concept of
being demeaned? That would seem like a very sophisticated
emotion for someone still eating dirt and boogers if given
half a chance. I make no apologies for how I parent. I do
the best I can with what I'm given. If you don't like it,
look the other way, but don't let me hear you make a
comment. I will ALWAYS stand up for myself and my children.

Even after four straight hours on my feet, climbing
numerous flights of stairs, being out in the heat (not
terrible heat, but warm), following two kids going in
opposite directions at times and walking way more than I
normally do in an average day, I can't say I feel too bad.
I had some more bloody show, but that could have been from
the membrane sweep Dr. Ennis performed yesterday. No
increase in contractions or anything like that. This kid
refuses to budge! I'm still holding out a teeny shred of
hope that I'll go into spontaneous labor tonight, but at
this point, it doesn't appear likely. You'd think that
with each day that passes my chances of going into labor
on my own would get better. I don't know, but tomorrow is
the day one way or another. Snookums reminded me that
tomorrow is Father's Day. He thinks it's so cool that his
son is going to be born on Father's Day. I don't care. All
I can think of is the fact that he's my third baby and
he's 10 days late. I want him out.

One hour until bedtime! I'd better get them fed and
washed. If you don't hear from me later tonight, I'll be
sure to jot something down before I leave in the morning.
Ciao.




Ad: