Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2008-06-02 05:19:40 (UTC)

YOU DO NOT WANT ANOTHER BABY!!!!

****

Well, I'm still pregnant. I'm trying to convince myself
that in a few months, maybe in a year, I'll look back at
these days and wish I'd cherished them more. This being my
last pregnancy. My last baby. I'll wish I'd rubbed my
contracting belly more. I'd spent more time feeling Keenan
move inside of me. Instead of wishing I'd go into labor
already and get this over with. Instead of getting
irritable because I've got a little heartburn, my joints
hurt and I can't get around very well. All of this will be
softened around the edges by whatever it is that makes a
woman forget how gut-wrenchingly painful childbirth can
be. I'll look back on this past month with fondness and I
might even think "I want another baby". It'll be such a
good thing to have this diary entry to look back on.

JENNIFER. DESPITE WHAT YOU MAY BE FEELING RIGHT NOW, YOU
DO NOT WANT ANOTHER BABY!!!!

If I'd started writing this diary a few months earlier
(before Kiki was born), maybe I wouldn't be in this
position now. Or maybe I would. I'm happy (for Snookums)
that we're having a boy. He's a good man and he deserves
to have the son he's always wanted. It's unfortunate that
I have to squeeze the son out of my body. Never again.
Never, never, never! With that being said, I'll be so glad
when this is over.

Even though Helena kept me relegated to the couch all day,
I'm still tired. Everyone else went to bed at 8pm (even
Helena). I'll be going soon. I think I'll take a nice warm
bath first. I still have that antsy feeling I had earlier
today. The one that's telling me my time is coming soon.
Maybe not tonight, but soon. I've got a little nervous
energy, but I'm not scared. I'm ready. Ciao.




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