Interrupted
My Life Thus Far
My Perpetual Existence
***
I don't know why I waited until so late to write, but I'm
wishing I hadn't. I'm tired and not really feeling up to
it now. But, in all honestly I wasn't feeling up to it at
any point this evening. I haven't felt very good today.
I'm extremely worn out, lethargic and sore. It seems like
discomfort is my perpetual existence at the moment. I've
forgotten what feeling good feels like. How sad. I have to
keep reminding myself that pregnancy is a temporary
condition and my time is coming to an end soon. Not soon
enough, but soon.
I'm used to waking up sore. My pelvis is completely out of
alignment, but this morning I woke up nauseous on top of
sore. I had my antepartum testing at 10am, so I had no
choice but to get up and get moving. Even though it was
the last thing I wanted to do. Sleep was what I wanted to
do. Kiki didn't want to go bye-bye in the car, so she put
up a little resistance to getting dressed. Over-all,
getting out of the house didn't go as smoothly as it could
have, but we made it none-the-less.
It seemed like Junior was going to cooperate at first. I
was so pleased with him. His heart rate was strong (in the
150's) and he accelerated beautifully. Then he stopped.
Just like that. His heart rate dropped to 130, he stopped
moving and there were no more accelerations. Half way
through the test. So, he was determined to
be "nonreactive" again and I have to go back next week.
Little stinker. Why couldn't he just have stayed awake for
10 more minutes? Then I could have stopped the antepartum
testing. While I was having the ultrasound done, the nurse
was pushing on his head with her hand and you could see on
the monitor his little head bobbing back and forth from
the pressure. It didn't phase him one bit. He just kept on
sleeping. You could see his chest rising and falling as
he "breathed", which was very sweet. It appears that I've
got another comatose sleeper on my hands. Just like daddy
and Kiki. I'm perfectly okay with that. Who doesn't like
sleeping through the night?
I had a few things I needed to do today. Mainly, the post
office and a stop into work. I was hoping to get something
checked off my list today, but when I got home I was so
exhausted I didn't have the strength. I laid down and
watched A Baby Story and Bringing Home Baby. I was a
little irritated by the first episode of A Baby Story,
because the lady's husband was in the Air Force, deployed
to Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. Yet, he was able to schedule
leave and come home to be there for the birth. Why was he
able to come home to New Jersey from Cuba, but Snookums
can't come home to Washington from California? Does that
seem at all fair? I think the military needs to set some
standards when it comes to births. Either we all get to
have our husband's home, or none of us do. How about a
little equality? Even within Snookums division there's no
equality. I'm okay with being alone if that's what's meant
to be, but I'd rather not.
I have high hopes for tomorrow. I want to really make some
progress around the house. I'm going to bed now. Hopefully
to sleep well and I'll wake up ready to kick some
housekeeping ass! Ciao for now.
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