Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2008-05-04 17:02:27 (UTC)

The Right Order

Yesterday was a disappointment. It rained all day and I
didn't get to go outside like I'd wanted to. That totally
ruined my motivation to do anything else. I spent hours
walking in circles, picking up the constant little messes
Kiki and Annie left in their wakes. I at least kept the
living room clean, although there's so much more that
needs to be done.

Over the past week, I've felt the overwhelming urge to get
the house in order. I hate the word "nesting". I'm not a
bird and it's terribly cliche. I'm not talking about
picking nursery colors and folding tiny little layettes.
I'm talking about getting the house clean, organized and
and completely unpacked. All the baby clothes washed and
put away, get all the necessary furniture purchased (and
delivered). The car seat, the stroller, the bassinet, a
swing (it's all picked out, I just need to buy it and have
it delivered, but I need the house in order to have a
place for it all). Everything needs to be done in the
right order! My OCD is starting to act up now that my meds
are gone. At first, I thought I had all the time in the
world, but then it occurred to me that this time next
month, this baby will be here! Maybe sooner, maybe later,
but inevitably by my June 5th due date (that has been
changed to June 2nd, but I'm giving the baby until the
5th. The previous due date). Kiki came a day before her
due date, but I had been dilated and in latent labor for
two weeks before that. I can't handle having a to-do list
a mile long, while knowing active labor could start at any
moment. Last night I was laying in bed, feeling all the
painful stabs my cervix was experiencing. I know I'm
dilating (experience tells me this). I have 32 days until
my due date, but that isn't a guarantee I've got 32 days
to get ready. I could have as little as 1 at this point.
Highly unlikely, but possible.

The weather is gorgeous today and I'm feeling highly
motivated. So, I should go get started. I've got my baby
shower tonight! Gen has been so kind as to come be with
the girls so I can go. That will be my motivation to get
some stuff done. I can't go if I don't kick ass today :)
Ciao!




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