Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2008-05-02 03:05:29 (UTC)

This I'm Sure Of

***

I'm writing early tonight, because as soon as I feed and
put the girls to bed, I'm going to bed. I've hit a brick
wall and there is no second wind coming. This I'm sure of.
I was up at 5:30am, which would be fine if I'd taken a nap
today, but for some reason I couldn't fall asleep. Even
though I was tired and Kiki was completely comatose, I
just couldn't. My high is starting to wear off and I'm
feeling a little sad. I wouldn't be human if I didn't miss
my Snookums a little.

Gen and I went to the mall with Kiki and Cyrus today. We
haven't been to the mall together in a very long time. Now
I'm not so sure I want to do it again any time soon! Kiki
got up a good 3 hours earlier than she usually does this
morning. It was my fault for not taking that into account,
but usually she's so amiable, even when tired. That SOOO
was not the case today. She was screaming. She was crying.
She was throwing herself on the ground. Not behaviors
children of mine usually demonstrate. I couldn't get her
out of there fast enough. Once in the car she was out
before we could leave the mall parking lot. She woke up
when we got home and started crying. I tried to put her
down on the couch, but she still cried for a good half
hour before falling back to sleep.

I was a little disappointed because I didn't accomplish
what I'd set out to do today. I hadn't planned on spending
that long at the mall and I certainly hadn't planned on
Kiki having a nuclear meltdown. So, after Kiki woke up and
Annie got home from school I set back out to finish my
errands. I got baby shower gifts for Tiffany and Tamara at
Target (along with a few things I needed) and I stopped by
Home Depot to buy a lawnmower and other lawn odds and
ends. I didn't get to cut the grass (it was after 7pm when
I got home), so it'll have to wait until tomorrow or this
weekend. I've got everything I need, though. Including
weed remover, fertilizer and grass seed. All Eco-friendly
products, so I don't hurt the environment :) There isn't
much grass back there. It's more weeds than anything. So,
I bought a bag of seed formulated especially for the
Pacific Northwest. It should do well without too much
intervention from me.

Helena called me while I was looking at greeting cards at
Hallmark today. She went on and on about when she thought
it would be a good time to come when the baby is born. I
told her I didn't really need her to take care of me.
Which I think might have hurt her feelings a little, but
this is my life and I'm entitled to have things my way.
She's overbearing and pushy at times. All qualities I
hated in my own mother and won't tolerate from Jason's.
She pressured me about what names we've chosen for the
baby, too. Jason and I decided we don't want to tell
anyone the name right now. We've decided, but we just
don't want to share. People feel they can give their
opinion about a name when there isn't a little person
attached to it. I don't want to hear whether or not a
person likes or dislikes the name. When he's born, only a
moron would say they don't like his name to my face. Even
if they don't like his name. Does that make sense? Anyhow.
I told Helena we weren't telling anyone the name yet and
she basically pressured me into telling her the three we'd
narrowed it down to. I gave her that much, but that's all.
Then she went into a spiel about how we shouldn't give the
baby an ethnic name because people would be prejudiced
against him and how it would sound ridiculous and she
likes plain and simple names. Apparently Barack Obama was
held back by his ethnic name, right? Who the hell asked
her anyway? She's exactly why we aren't telling anyone.
This is my child and if I want to name him Kunta Kinte,
that's my prerogative. She gave us the same lecture when I
was pregnant with Kiki. It didn't stop me from naming her
what I wanted and it won't stop me now. It will only
succeed in making me avoid her and talk to her less.

I'm starting to get a headache. I know it's from hunger.
Half a turkey sandwich and a piece of pumpkin bread isn't
enough for anyone over the course of a day. Snookums
hasn't been gone 24 hours and already I'm forgetting to
eat. Ciao.




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