Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2008-04-28 17:06:44 (UTC)

How To Get Through To Her...

Somewhere, in Annie's 8-almost 9 years, I've failed her.
I'm not sure where, but obviously I have. Getting her off
to school this morning was unbelievable, but not abnormal.
It's a regular occurrence with her and I can't figure out
why.

Over the past year or so, Annie has pretty much stopped
bathing on her own. She won't take a shower, brush her
hair or her teeth. She won't change her clothes or put on
deodorant. You have to tell her two, three, four times to
take a shower and sometimes she still won't. She says her
hair is too hard to brush because it's long, she didn't
brush it after we cut it shoulder length either. She'll
wear the same clothes for days on end if I don't tell her
to change them. She doesn't change her underwear unless I
ask her if she's changed them recently. Her teeth are
covered in plague because even when she does brush them,
she won't use toothpaste and doesn't brush long enough.
Her lips are chapped, even though she's got dozens of
tubes of lip balm and glosses. She won't use any of them.

I had a hard time falling asleep last night, so I didn't
wake up until 8:20am. Annie's bus comes at 8:34am, so I
called down the stairs to see that she was up and ready.
She answered, but she didn't come up. The minutes ticked
down and eventually I watched her bus come and go. Which
pissed me off. Her alarm is set for 7:15am, so she has
time to shower and dress and get to the bus stop on time.
It's literally across the street from our front door. I
couldn't understand why she missed it. Eventually, she did
come upstairs. When I looked at her, I nearly lost it. Her
hair wasn't brushed, her teeth weren't brushed, she had on
the same clothes she's been wearing since FRIDAY and worst
of all, she smelled like a combination of bad breath and
body odor. What was she doing that made her miss the bus
if she wasn't showering and getting dressed?! Her answer
was she was looking for her library books. Her class goes
to library on Tuesday's, not Mondays. I wanted to
strangler her and cry at the same time. School starts at
9am, so I didn't have enough time to get her in the
shower. I could only get her clothes changed and her hair
and teeth brushed. Even deodorant wasn't covering up her
body odor. I don't want my daughter to be known as the kid
that smells bad, but she's heading down that road if she
doesn't change her ways.

Jason and I have tried EVERYTHING to get her to step up in
the hygiene department. We've made charts for her to
follow, hounded her like a drill sargent, forcing her into
the bathroom, rewarded her for doing well, punished her
for instances like this morning. Nothing seems to be
getting through to her. I've never heard of a girl that
doesn't want to look and smell nice! Jason even told her a
story about one of the female sailors in his department
that was given a health and comfort inspection because her
hygiene was poor. That seemed to make an impact for about
2 days, but then she went right back to her old ways
(according to Jason, it didn't work for that woman at
work, either). Annie acts homeless, even though she's got
a closet and a half FULL of clothes, shoes and
accessories, her own bathroom, more smell-good products
than an 8 year old has a right to (thanks to the gratis
products I get at work) and a mother trained as a dental
assistant (and is constantly harping on her to brush along
her gum line), she still doesn't seem to give a shit. Is
this a phase she'll grow out of or do I genuinely have
something to fear as she gets older? That's the million
dollar question. I'm not sure I want to know the answer.
Is it just laziness? She's lazy about everything else. I
don't know. When she was little, she lived to take a bath.
Why did that have to change?

Kiki is a little neat freak, which can be inconvenient at
times (when I don't have wipes or napkins on hand and
she's dying to clean something). She wants a bath
everyday, she can't stand a dirty or wet diaper. She walks
around carrying a dish towel so she can clean up her
messes. It's like I have polar opposite children. It would
be so great if they'd share their quirks more equally.
Annie could be a little cleaner and Kiki could not freak
out when she drops something on the table. It would be so
great.

I guess that's enough complaining for one day. Don't get
me wrong, I love Annie very much and I'm not trying to be
mean. I'm concerned about her well-being. I just don't
know how to get through to her...Ciao.





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