Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2008-04-25 16:09:56 (UTC)

Momentary Lapse Of Conscious

I couldn't write last night. Snookums forbade it. Not for
any bad reasons. He just wanted me to take a bath and get
in bed, because I hurt myself. For a moment, I had a
momentary lapse of conscious and forgot I was pregnant. I
sat down on the couch and tried to tuck my legs under my
body (because that's how I always sit on the couch), but
that sudden awkward movement did not agree with my pelvis
and the symphysis bone in the front (the joint right under
the soft fleshy part of the female groin) grinded together
so hard I could hear it. The pain shot down both my legs
and left me paralysed for a second. The kind of pain that
brings you tears. Only, the pain didn't really subside, it
mutated from sharp stabbing and instead started throbbing.
Snookums tried to be hard and told me that's what I got
for trying to sit on the couch when I knew it was too soft
and trying to move so suddenly when I also knew I couldn't
do that either. But, my tears made him feel bad, so he
helped me into a warm tub and then sacrificed one of his
pillows so I could prop myself up in bed more comfortably.
I don't know what I'm going to do without him.

Snookums told me yesterday that they aren't letting him
stay behind. He has to leave after all. Which is what I
expected, so I'm not surprised. He said there's a
possibility they'll let him come home for the birth and a
little while after, but we'll have to pay for his flight
home and back to the ship. Which I think is fucking
ridiculous. Jason's First Class got to stay home with his
wife AND took almost an entire month off. Jason doesn't
get to stay home and IF they do let him come home for the
birth, he only gets two weeks and maybe a few days. Even
though he hardly ever takes leave and has 34 days of leave
available. There's nothing I can do about it and I'm not
upset. What's the point? I accept it as millions of other
military wives before me have had to, but it still sucks.
I'd rather go it alone than have Helena here. I like her,
don't get me wrong, but I feel like she's company and I'm
not going to be up for company at that time. She'll have
to see my house dirty and my children unkept, unless she
wants to step up and take care of things for me! Even
then, I still want my house to myself.

On a happier note, today is Kiki's birthday! It's hard to
believe she's 3 years old now. It seems like I just had
her and I still see her as a baby, even though she's not.
She's been so excited all this week. This is the first
year she's understood the concept of 'birthday' and she
decided what she wanted to do right away. She wants to go
to Chuck E. Cheese's. So, that's what we'll do. Snookums
will be home in a couple of hours and we're going to take
her to the park to play. Annie has a field trip to the
Seattle Aquarium today and won't be home until 4:30pm, but
after we pick her up from school, then we'll go to Chuck
E. Cheese's. I'm still in a lot of pain from my injury
last night. So, I'm going to get some ice and rest, so I
can manage to walk around this afternoon.

Ciao for now.




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