Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2008-02-28 21:33:46 (UTC)

I'm Left To Suffer

I wasn't in any kind of mood to write last night. Or any
other time yesterday. Gen came over to keep me company and
I pretty much just moped on the couch. The constant back
pain is starting to take a mental toll on me (as well as a
physical one). Every time I change positions it causes a
twinge (more like a lightening bolt) of pain to run down
my left leg, or my back seizes up and I have to stretch it
just to be able to move again. It's so annoying. I would
take a muscle relaxer, but I don't see how that will help
a pinched nerve. Even if a medication is safe to take
during pregnancy, there's still no need to take
unnecessary medication. So, I'll suffer. Tylenol PM helps
a little, but I can't take it during the day. I'm left to
suffer. There's nothing I can really do.

I woke up this morning in just as much discomfort as
yesterday, but I didn't get to mope around because Kiki
had therapy and you know how I feel about her therapy
sessions. So, I dragged my sorry ass out of bed and took
her. It was parent group (once a week the parents
participate in class), which I hadn't remembered, so I was
forced to participate, which felt like torture. I had to
sit in the tiny little plastic chair and sing a million
songs in sign language. I put on a happy face for Kiki's
sake, but it sucked hardcore. The only rewarding thing
about it was seeing Kiki's enthusiasm. Normally, she
doesn't participate in class, but when I was there, she
was happy and doing all the songs. Her teacher was
surprised, because she wasn't even sure Kiki knew most of
the signs, because she never used them. It just shows that
Kiki is smarter than she's given credit for. Maybe
Snookums is to?

After therapy, I didn't want to come home, but there
wasn't really anything for me to do. I decided to take a
little drive to Port Orchard. Why? Well, I was bored and
didn't want to go home, so I figured I'd pay my cable bill
in person :) I know. Exciting. I hadn't been to Port
Orchard in a long time. Since before the flooding, back in
December, so it was kind of interesting driving through
downtown. Mako's truly is gone. Their shark mural has been
painted over with beige paint and the neon beer signs are
gone. It's the end of an era for me, but I'm sure once
this baby is born, I'm not going to feel like partying any
time soon. The streets are super clean. Cleaner than they
ever were when I lived there. The sidewalks have been
cleared of overgrown brush and they even put up little
orange crossing flags. Lord knows it was impossible
crossing Bay street at times. You risked your life doing
so. The improvements are nice. It made me miss living
there a little. Jackson Park is pretty dismal. It's
military housing, so no one takes pride in how their house
looks. Sadly enough, I've got the nicest yard on the
street and all I did was plant $50 worth of annuals and
swept the sidewalk. I'm already thinking about what I want
to plant once it gets a little warmer. Roses and a
vegetable garden in the back yard. Anyhow, I digress. A
lot of the older units aren't even occupied, which makes
some streets in Jackson Park seem like a ghost town. I
guess what I miss is the personality of living downtown.
The individuality my little condo had. I had some good
times there. Now I live in a big white box and it's
boring. I'll have to fix that as best I can, but now I
don't have the energy to do what it takes. The other day
when we were out walking as a family, we passed a unit
that had red dining room walls (the blinds were open). I'd
like to paint, but I'm not allowed to (because I'm
pregnant). We could paint, as long as we prime and paint
them white again before we move out. Jason isn't good
enough at painting for me to trust him, though. So, it'll
have to either wait or never happen. Maybe I'll just find
some colorful artwork instead.

I got an unexpected message on my myspace this morning.
You'll never guess from who...Ron. I haven't talked to him
in almost 3 months. Basically, he was just letting me know
why he took me off his friends list (his girlfriend) and
that we'd always be friends. I figured as much. I mean,
I'm a woman too. I know if Jason's ex was still in the
picture I'd be a little wary of it. I was okay with it
when he did it and I'm still okay with it now. I think
it's safe to say I'm completely over him. Or so
preoccupied that it's the furthest thing from my mind at
the moment. I wish him the best, sincerely this time. I
really did love him, but that ship has sailed. Nicole
doesn't have anything to worry about.

I think I'll go have lunch now. I'm getting very hungry
and when I get hungry, bad things happen to other
people :) Ciao.




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