Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2008-01-10 07:02:43 (UTC)

Each Day Is A Struggle

***

On a scale of 1 to 10, my day was probably a 6. Not
fabulous, but not horrible, either. I think each day is a
struggle for one reason or another and I'll never have
really wonderful days until I figure out what it is that's
making me unhappy.

I did discover a silver lining on the cloud that is
hovering over my life right now. As I was exiting the
Austin Drive exit to the girls' daycares and home I
ruminated in my own thoughts. I realized that this
pregnancy has progressed by fairly quickly. Tomorrow I'm
19 weeks. I'm almost to the half way point. As mentally
unstable as I am, physically I'd have to say I'm holding
up pretty well. My back hurts occasionally, my feet hurt
most days, but my heartburn has been minimal (knock on
wood), I'm not any more constipated than I usually am. I
can't complain too much. Morning sickness didn't even last
as long as it did with Annie or Kiki. I consider myself
fortunate in that regard.

I had a short shift at work today. It was uneventful.
Quiet. The sale hasn't had the turnout that it had last
June or July. June was craziness. Today was like any other
day. I'm not complaining though. I didn't have to do much.
Just the usual.

Snookums had his first class tonight. He's decided that he
needs a degree. I'm not arguing with him on that. As a
college graduate myself, I think everyone should at some
point receive a higher education. His motives are strictly
monetary, I think. In the future the Navy will require an
associates degree in something to qualify for Chief.
That's his goal, to reach Chief before his 20 years are
up. A degree might make that possible for him. Nothing
comes easy for my poor husband.

When Snookums got home around 7:30pm, he put me in the
bathtub (because I was on the verge of tears because I
wanted to make almond crusted chicken, but didn't have the
right almonds for it) and let me soak for awhile. I
started a new book, which promises to be good. Vinegar
Hill. Another Oprah's book club book. I don't
intentionally seek them out, but when I stumble across
them, I read them. Oprah knows a good book when she reads
one. I stopped by Value Village on my way to work and
bought 4 books. I don't buy them new. I read too fast and
never read them again. Why pay $15 when I could pay .50
cents? So, I've got some reading to do.

Before I close for the night, I have a question to ask.
This morning when I was dropping Kiki off at daycare, Ms.
Ruth was at the front desk. Ms. Ruth is one of the head
providers at the CDC and Kiki knows her very well. When we
walked in, Ms. Ruth showered Kiki with all kinds of love
and affection. Kiki practically cooed (not something she
does now that she's a big girl). It just made me wonder,
how do some people end up so nice? Why is it that I'm a
harsh, abrasive, semi-unfeeling person and there are
others that show so much love and affection to others?
Does it have THAT much to do with our childhoods? And why
does a relatively short period of our existence have such
a strong impact on the rest of our lives? Is it nature or
nurture that makes the biggest difference? I don't know.
I'll just keep wondering why I'm an ice princess when
there are Ms. Ruth's in the world showering others with
love. Ciao.




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