Interrupted

My Life Thus Far
2008-01-07 04:25:32 (UTC)

An Irritated State Of Discontent

***

I didn't do much today (surprise, surprise), but
nonetheless, I still had an okay day. Annie spent the day
in her bedroom (she's still grounded) and Kiki spent most
of her time with me. I was forced to listen to cartoons
most of the time, but that was okay. I finished my book.
Now I wish I had another one. I need to go to the library.

I miss Jason. He has duty today and a full day of work
tomorrow, so it will be awhile before I see him. I work
tomorrow too, but I'll get off earlier than him. We made
up after or little spat last night. Well, he made up with
me. I didn't do anything. I'm still baffled as to why he's
such an asshole sometimes. One minute he's kissing my ass,
the next minute, I'm invisible...I'm confused.

I'm astonished at how boring my life is right now. I lack
the drive or energy to do much about it, but I'm still in
an irritated state of discontent. I can think of all these
things I'd love to do, but I can't bring myself to put one
foot in front of the other to do them. Today when I woke
up, I thought maybe I'd finally hang some pictures in my
house. Almost 4 months after moving and I still haven't
done that. I didn't finish the laundry. I did finish my
book, but only because that didn't require me to move my
body more than the small exertion it takes to turn a page.
Tomorrow, even though I have to work, I want to go to the
gym like I used to. There was a time when I'd be up and
out of bed at 5:30am if that was the only way I could make
it to the gym. Now, getting up anytime before 9am makes me
want to cry. Literally. I'm so sad. I can't think of a
good reason why I'm sad, I just am. Not boo-hoo I want to
cry sad, just not happy. Discontent. That's the best way I
can describe how I feel. What am I going to do about this?
It's not going away. It isn't getting any better. How much
longer can I deal with this? I don't know.

I think I'll go take a shower and lay down. What else am I
going to do? Ciao.




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