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Maelstrom143, By Sun or Candlelight
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2008-01-07 02:05:35 (UTC)

Sundown again

Hubby went back to post today, leaving us counting the days
till his return. J was broken-hearted. He sobbed for a good
while after Daddy got out of sight. It was a good visit. It
was nice being a family again, if only for a little while.
I guess I am selfish, complaining of a small separation
when so many others must endure worse in order to get the
job done, but I am spoiled. I like having my hubby nearby.
When he is not here, I have no one to pester:( I get so
cold when he is not around. I feel empty. I miss being able
to bury my head on his chest and smell his skin and touch
his hair. I miss being able to look at him, at the five
o'clock shadow on his jawline, so sensual a line...I miss
the intensity of his stare sometimes as he thinks really
hard and how he looks at me when we make love. I miss our
conversations, the intense pleasure his intellect arouses
in me, how magnificent his chuckle sounds to my ears, how
his eyeteeth flash when he laughs, almost predatory...he
leaves me breathless.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am also facing the possibility of a new job...again...it
is not fair. I just got this one, I am so happy there. I
look forward to going to work each day, in spite of the
crappy hours because I really enjoy the people I work with
and the place. The drive sucks. I prefer to drive in the
mornings, right before the sun rises. I love seeing the
dawn. It leaves me enchanted, so much beauty.
The hours suck. I love waking up and having a normal day; I
love spending time with my children. I miss the crafts we
do, the stuff we do together for fun. I miss their happy
sounds and reading them a bedtime story. I miss hearing
them read out loud in the evenings. I miss seeing how much
they enjoy the meals I make for them. I hate cooking and
cleaning, but I love doing it for them and hubby. I guess
it is my way of saying I love them.
However, my job is wonderful. I will miss the camaraderie
and sharing, the multiple personalities and myriad
possibilities. My coworkers are a patchwork quilt and I
enjoy perusing each square, learning its intricacies. Even
the most crusty person has something worthwhile and
valuable to share and I enjoy finding out what that is.
There is a married couple who does foster parenting. I find
them so intriguing and wonderful. I love listening to the
lady speak of her charges and her experiences. You can
actually see the caring and something so special in her
face when she talks and it makes me happy to know I know
such a lovely person. In addition, knowing such a couple,
so in love still, so caring of each other and of
others...that is true romance and makes my heart squeeze
with joy for them. I could mention each of my coworkers and
each has a special something that fascinates me, but I
won't beleager the point. Suffice it to say that I am
blessed in having found such a nice place to work and that
it is breaking my heart to have to change jobs so quickly,
but my kids and hubby come first.
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