rainy

My heart in a knot
2007-11-18 00:20:57 (UTC)

Me

So I've been doing a lot of thinking lately.. about myself
and who I am and what my thoughts are and the people I'm
attracted to and the people who are attracted to me... and
it seems that there is a reoccurring pattern.. like today---

But I don't want to talk about that right now.. I'll talk
about it later, I'd really just like to talk about kandy- Ok
so first off she is funny and nice- but now that I've been
able to further examine her I see that she has a possible
mean streak in her.. or not so much of a mean streak as a
dominance habit-- I wouldn't be surprised if our
personality's clashed at some point. Just because I am a
very dominant person, and I clam status very quickly and I
sometimes feel threatened.. but enough about that. Let's
talk about what really matters.. my feelings..

I'm so emo-- and everything about me confirms it. Like today ..


Jeesh--- I can't seem to find a topic to talk about right
now I just want to write down all the things going on in my
head right now but something is holding me back and I'm not
sure what it is. maybe it's my conscious telling me to just
think things through.

At any rate I hope that things begin to go well for me.


Oh I just found something I'd really like to talk about, and
that's how much I have found that I have in common with this
girl from my first job-- I'm not sure if I've mentioned her
in here or not.. but anyway we will just call her B for now
until I can find something better---- she's 26 and we have a
few things in common---- in fact when I first met her
someone mentioned how we were alike-- of course we have our
differences.. anyway last Friday I had the opportunity to
work with her side by side and I was able to see just how
much like me she is-- but she's seriously OCD, lol I'm no
where near as bad as her. --- anyway I think she's cool-
except for a few things.

Yea.. so I don't feel like talking about her anymore now-- I
don't know what it is.. I guess my mind is just wondering-
but I wanted to come here and write just because I feel the
need to update my life accordingly.

I just think I'm going to start putting myself out there
more often... my second job is helping me do that a little--
it's kind of like a little push in the right direction..
although I hope it doesn't all come crashing down on me.

well it's late and I have work in the morning so maybe I'll
write soon.. (of course the holidays are here and I get so
EMOtional that I often do a lot of writing.. so yea.. I'll
be back soon lol )




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